


Forget me not

by troublemaker (shoseilovemail)



Category: JO1 (Japan Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bullying, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, M/M, Outcasts bounding, Sho and Junki are siblings, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, but it ends happily, it gets better then worse, takumi-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23161390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shoseilovemail/pseuds/troublemaker
Summary: Wherein Takumi transfers schools.
Relationships: Kawanishi Takumi/Kawashiri Ren, Kono Junki/Sato Keigo, Ohira Shosei/Shiroiwa Ruki, very implied tsurukita
Kudos: 11





	1. Act 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ignore grammar & spelling mistakes. This au was heavily inspired by things that happened to me, and things that I have felt. Enjoy!  
> -Kukki

It was his big day. Takumi was new at school. He didn't knew what to expect. He didn't have any expectations actually. Understandable, because what was waiting for him was something he would have never expected.

The school was all grey. Grey walls, grey hallways, grey school uniforms, even the suit his teacher that was accompanying him was wearing was grey. He easily stood out within all that with his bright pink hair. His thoughts wandered to his old school, but he quickly pushed the thought aside. This was a new beginning for him.  
They reached the door that said "3-B ". It's his classroom. The teacher told him to wait outside and went in to greet the other students first. Takumi could hear him talk through the door.  
"From now on, a new student who just transfered to this school will join us in class. Please come inside. "  
That was his sign. He breathed in deeply one more time, and walked inside. The room was as grey as everything else. Around 20 students sat at their grey tables, staring at him. At him only.  
"I'm Kawanishi Takumi, please treat me well. ", he said and bowed down. His new classmates mumbled something along the same lines. The teacher told the students to treat Takumi well too and pointed at a seat in the second of four rows of tables. "That's your seat, Takumi. "  
So Takumi sat down at his assigned place and looked around. Left to him sat a girl with long dark brown hair. She was staring at the teacher, focused.  
Right to him sat a boy with blonde hair who gave Takumi a tired smile. He seemed friendly, but not very eager to communicate.

Class wasn't that special too. Takumi understood the subject almost immedatly and was bored the rest of the period. The only thing that was weird was this awkward feeling that someone was watching him closely. But whenever Takumi turned around, everybody behind him was staring at the teacher. Except one boy, who was looking out of the window. Takumi had noticed him right from the beginning. He was eye-catching with his platinum-dyed hair. They even made eye contact once, but the boy's eyes had something so piercing and penetrating that it almost scared Takumi. He doesn't like these kind of eyes. They made him feel like they could stab him with one gaze. Right. If gazes could kill, he would have died so many times by now. But no, he shouldn't think about that too much. He should at least try to focus on class, even if it was boring.

.  
.  
.

The school bell echoed, signaling the end of the second period and beginning of break. Takumi didn't know what room they had next in, so he nervously looked around, but gathered up his courage and asked the blonde haired boy he had sat next to previously.  
"Uhm, do you know where we have to go next? "  
The boy turned around, looking surprised. "Oh, it's in room 5. " He turned back to stuff his things into his bag. "Thank you ", Takumi said and started packing his bag too. When he was almost finished, he had an idea. He tapped the boy on the shoulder, who turned around again, looked even more surprised than before.  
"I, uh, wanted to ask if we could walk together to the room? Since I'm not very familiar with this place yet."  
The boy made an expression Takumi couldn't really interpret. Was he.... happy?

Anyways, the boy agreed and they set off to the room. While they were walking through the hallways, Takumi tried to engage in small talk. "So Shosei " - the blonde boy's name -, "could you tell me something about the people in our class? I don't wanna end up being left out so I'd like to get to know them better to engage in conversation. "  
Shosei was quiet for a moment. Then he started talking.  
"There are not many interesting people in our class.. there's Shion, but he'd propably snap at you if you try to talk to him, so... " Takumi listened closely, taking a mental note. He wanted to give his best this time, to not end like before. "Who else is there... " Shosei scratched his head. "There's Ruki, he's in another class though, but he's always surrounded by people anyways, so it's hard to get a chance... " He smiled weirdly as he said that.  
"Ah, Junki is there too, he's kinda the class clown, just don't mind his jokes. "  
Shosei went on to talk about some other people, but even after he had finished, something was missing.  
"Uh, there's a person I'm curious about.. ", Takumi started shyly. "The guy with the platinum dyed hair.."  
Shosei's eyes widened at Takumi's words. "Is something up with him? ", Takumi asked, surprised at the other's reaction.  
"His name is Ren. He is a rough guy, you better stay away from him. ", he answered.

"You better stay away from him. "  
.  
.  
.

It's Takumi's second day. His experiences from the first day had been staying on his mind and had made it hard for him to fall asleep last night. He wondered about all the people Shosei had talked about. He himself had been told as a kid that no person in the world is truly evil. That there's always a reason.  
He wondered what their reasons might be. What made them be the way they are?

He thought about that all night long. And now here he is, running short on time because he overslept and being a lost sheep in the hallways because he can't find his room. He was about to lose his cool when he bumped into someone. That person's bag fell down and some stuff inside fell out as well. Takumi immedatly started apologizing and bowing. The person he had bumped into was a boy not much taller than him, with black hair and wearing glasses. Takumi offered him his help with picking up the stuff on the ground, but the boy declined with a "No need to help, I'm fine " as he stood up. His tone was mostly cold, but there was still something different mixed into it, something Takumi wasn't able to pinpoint. As the boy started walking his way, Takumi heard the other pupils whispering.  
"Look, there he is ", "The nerd's coming ", "Nerd-Syoya is coming! ", but the boy just ignored them and walked past. Such a strong person, Takumi thought.  
Syoya. That must be his name. He'll ask Shosei about him later.

But currently, he was still lost. The clock was ticking, and it was few minutes until school will start. Takumi was innerly panicking. If someone could just please pick him up...  
Then someone tapped onto his shoulder. When Takumi turned around, a tall guy stood in front of him, broadly built, emitting an aura of authority. "You look lost. Are you searching something? ", the guy said with a gentle voice. Takumi nodded. "I'm sorry, I'm new here.. " he said as he bowed. "Don't worry, ", the guy said, "I know you. "  
Which surprised Takumi.  
"You are the transfer student, Kawanishi Takumi, right? ", he continued, at which Takumi just nodded.  
"Ah, I knew it! I recognised you by your pink hair. ", the guy said as he chuckled.  
"I'm Yonashiro Sho, the president of the student council. If you need help, you can always ask me. "  
Takumi nodded again.  
"Well, I need to find room 7, but I can't find it... ", he said, embarrassed.  
And then Sho guided him to the room, waved goodbye and empathised that Takumi should tell him when he needs help. Such a nice person. Takumi will keep him in mind.

.  
.  
.

During lunch break Takumi and Shosei sat together. As they were eating, Takumi spotted the boy he had seen earlier this morning on the other side of the cafeteria. Syoya. Right, he had wanted to ask Shosei about him.  
"Mhm Shosei ", he said as he subtly pointed at Syoya, "who is that? I think Syoya is his name. "  
"Oh, how come that you want to know about him? ", Shosei said, surprised.  
"Well I bumped into him this morning. People were calling him names for no reason, but he just ignored them. I thought that that was really cool. ", Takumi explained. "I would never be able to be so strong. "  
Shosei glanced over to where Syoya was sitting.  
"I guess he's used to it. People have be doing it since the start of highschool. He had been always standing out in some way. ", he said as he swallowed some vegetables.  
"He's gifted, you know. "  
Takumi's eyes widened.  
"And people insult him because of that? ", Takumi asked, not quite understanding it.  
"Well ", Shosei said and looked at Takumi, "such stuff is never reasonable. I think that they are just jealous."

They are just jealous. Such a trivial reason for something so big, Takumi whispered to himself. He wondered if that was really the reason.  
Shosei asked him what he had just said but Takumi brushed it off. What's in the past is in the past.

"Shosei? ", Takumi asked, with uncertainty in his voice.

"Yeah? "

"You are my friend, right? "

Shosei smiled at him.

"Of course. "

.  
.  
.

The next day, Takumi was on his way to the room for the next class. Shosei was ill today, but he fortunatly knew where it was by himself this time. He turned around the corner and spotted his room's door, but someone was standing in the way. A guy not much taller than him, with silver hair- he recognised him. It was Ren, that Ren, from his class. Who Shosei had told him to stay away from. Though Takumi couldn't help but think about that guy. There was something about him.

Ren was talking to some girl and had positioned himself in the very bad position of standing directly infront of the entrance.  
As Takumi approached them, the girl seemed to had taken notice of him and went away. Takumi stopped in front of Ren.  
"Would you please move, I have to go inside here. ", Takumi requested, gathering up all of his courage.  
Ren was intimidating after all, his eyes had a glare as sharp as a sword.  
But that fierce-looking Ren gave him a small smile and let him through. What a weird gesture. But not all rough guys are bad people, Takumi guessed.  
Even weirder, when Takumi sat down at a seat, Ren sat down next to him, smiling at him in the same subtle way as before. But Takumi just turned to the blackboard and didn't pay attention to him for the period.  
The following days went on like this. Takumi would live his life, and Ren would find his way into it. During class, they always exchanged glances. It felt weird, but it was also kind of..... fluttering. Takumi hadn't felt this way since long ago.

.  
.  
.

Takumi had cought Ren's eyes right on the first day. He didn't knew what, but something made him stand out. Maybe his bright pink hair, his intellectual excellence, or his expression. He always had this kind of look on his face that was hard to describe. He seemed to try his best all the time to be open and friendly, but Ren could see in his eyes that deep down in Takumi's soul there was darkness hidden. Ren didn't know what the younger boy had been through, but he wanted to safe him. To erase the darkness that lingered within his heart. And maybe Takumi could heal the pain in Ren's heart too.  
But Ren knew about his own reputation, and Takumi usually avoided him like all others. Though recently, they've been exchanging glances during class. Ren kept telling himself that it was just ordinary, but he felt like it was something really meaningful. And that was the point where he realised what he had been feeling.  
He decided that he'd do whatever it would take him to make Takumi love him too. 

.  
.  
.

"So how do you solve this equation again..? ", Shosei asked, confused.  
Takumi sighed and explained it to him again. Shosei had asked Takumi to prepare him for an upcoming exam, and now they're sitting in Takumi's room, Shosei having a big math book in front of his nose.  
"Argh, I just don't understand this! ", Shosei groaned, closing the book abruptly in frustration.  
"Maybe we should take a break, too much stress blocks the mind ", Takumi answered to that. Shosei leaned back and strechted, letting out a small, stressed sigh.  
Then he sat up straight and looked down.  
"You know Takumi, I've just been frustrated with myself so much recently. "  
Takumi looked at him. "What's the matter? "  
Shosei sighed and looked up to the wall in front of him. "I've been just not able to get the things I want to reach. "  
Takumi patted his back. "I feel that too. "  
Shosei shook his head. "But you're probably still a different case than me. I mean look, you're smart, friendly, good-looking.. You could get anything and anyone you want. "  
Takumi looked down. It's not like that, he thought. Just because he had all these things his life hadn't been easier.  
".. I can help you, Shosei. We're friends, aren't we? ", Takumi said with a grin.  
Shosei face lightened up. He nodded.  
Then he took a deep breath.  
"The thing is, what I want to get is not something, but someone. "  
"Who then? ", Takumi asked, curious.  
Shosei looked Takumi deep into the eyes. "Can I really trust you with this? "  
Takumi nodded, and Shosei looked down again, but smiling this time. He closed his eyes for a second, preparing for what he was about to say.

"Shiroiwa Ruki. "

There was a moment of silence. Shosei looked down, embarrassed.  
"Wait- so that Ruki? Prince Ruki? ", Takumi asked.  
"Yes. ", Shosei replied, "I.... didn't accept it for a long time but I have pretty much fallen for him at first sight. " He looked up with a slight smile, thinking of how much he loves Ruki. Then his smile faded.  
"But I can't get him. I have no chance. That's what frustrates me. "  
Takumi drew closer to him, listening closely to his friend's words.  
"It's really so frustrating, so bitter, so painful. He's always surrounded by people, I'm sure he already has someone. "  
Shosei's voice was shaking. He tried to control his tears, but he couldn't hold them.  
"It's so pathetic that I still love him after two years of knowing this. I'm really so stupid, such a fool. "  
Takumi just took Shosei into his arms and stroked his back. Without saying anything. But the silence was a comforting one.

After a while, they let go of each other. Shosei's eyes were red from all the crying, but he had calmed down a bit.  
"Actually, I'm in a similar situation.. ", Takumi broke the silence.  
"Huh? You also got a crush? ", Shosei said surprised.  
"Yeah. ", Takumi almost whispered.  
"I hope you won't scold me for that. "  
Shosei tilted his head in confusion.

"It's Kawashiri Ren. "

.  
.  
.

It's been about a week since Shosei and Takumi had talked about their crushes to each other. They had mutual understanding for each other, which made both of them feel very relieved. Now they are waving "see you soon " at each other as they had different classes the rest of the day. Takumi looked after Shosei as he left the room, Takumi's class was in the same room as the previous one while Shosei's was in a different room. As Takumi sat down onto his seat, a shadow appeared over him.  
It was that guy. "The funny guy ". Who felt the need to make a joke out of everything. Kono Junki.  
"So you're the kid that got full score, aren't you? ", he said with a rough tone.  
Takumi nodded. Indeed, he had gotten full score in the math exam. Very much to the displeasure of Junki, who had usually always been the best at math. But since that pink-haired guy had transferred to their school, everything had changed.  
"How did you do that? What weird cheating trick did you use, huh? "  
"I didn't cheat. I just studied. "  
"Pah ", Junki blurted out with a snide tone.  
"That can't be true. I've always been the best. You surely cheated. You sly pink-haired snake. "

No.  
No.  
Not again.  
Sly snake. That had been his nickname at his old school.  
They are all just jealous. They are all just jealous. Takumi repeated Shosei's words in his mind. He can't loose again. He'll be stronger this time. He'll solve this by himse-

Takumi's thought train was interrupted by a loud noise. Someone had stood up fiercely from their seat and now walked towards Junki with a glare that could kill.  
It was Ren.

.

At the same time, but at a different place, Shosei was walking through the hallways on the way to his next class. He was quite relaxed, his mind wasn't as burdened as before as he had been able to talk to Takumi about his feelings. He looked up and let out a satisfied sigh, but then he bumped into someone. Shosei fell and barely managed to protect his head from slamming onto the ground, but his stuff was scattered all over the ground and he felt a little bit dizzy. But the person he had bumped into just continued walking. Like everyone else. No one cared.  
Like it's always been, right?, Shosei thought. No one had every really cared about him. None of his past friends, none of his past lovers. No one.  
He had always been alone.

"Are you okay? "

Shosei needed a moment to realise. Someone had spoken to him. In fact, someone was bowing down to him and helding out his hand to help him up. He couldn't believe his own eyes. He felt like he was in heaven already.  
Because that person was Shiroiwa fucking Ruki.

He couldn't say anything so he just took Ruki's hand and let him help him up. Ruki's friend Keigo collected Shosei's scattered stuff and gave it him, who bowed and thanked them. Ruki gave him a sweet smile.  
"Are you okay now? "  
Shosei couldn't help but blush a little bit.  
"Uh... ehm, yeah. ", he replied shyly.

Ruki standing in front of him felt like a dream. That person he had always dreamed of, Ruki, the epitome of perfection-  
A thought popped into his mind.  
The thought of a chance.  
Now or never.  
He might not get another one.

Shosei's heart was beating fast and he felt very nervous and shaky, but he gathered up his courage.  
"Where is your next class? ", he asked.  
"Oh, ", Ruki replied surprisedly, "in room 5. "  
"That's next to my room.. so... ", Shosei started,  
"You wanna go together? ", Ruki finished his sentence.  
"... Yes. ", Shosei said and scratched his head.  
"Oh, when we're going there, can we stop by the vending machine? ", Keigo asked. "I need some coffeine or I'll fall asleep in class. ", he added with a smile.  
Weirdly though, it looked kind of mischievous. Like he had a certain plan.  
But it was a chance for Shosei, and so they agreed.

As they walked through the hallways, it was a completly new feeling for Shosei. He didn't feel like a part of the background anymore, the other students were his background. It gave him confidence. Which he needed, as they approached the vending machine room. He braced himself. The moment had come.

.

Ren was walking slowly towards Junki, emitting the aura of a beast. Junki glared at him fiercely, trying to not be intimidated, but his nervousity was shown clearly through his body language.  
Takumi was intimidated as well. Ren had a really strong aura that you couldn't help but notice.  
As Ren passed by Takumi, he gave him a small smile, breaking the dark aura for a second. Then he stared at Junki again. 

"What are planning to do? ", Junki broke the silence.  
But Ren just continued to walk towards him, closer and closer, until their foreheads almost touched. Without saying anything.

"Wait- do you feel something for this snake? Is that why you are protecting him? " He gave a nervous laugh. "Look, our beasty Ren fell in love with that pink snake-! ", he blurted out.

Ren's eyes twitched. He held up a fist, close to Junki's face, he didn't hit him but it made Junki jump back in fear. Ren looked at Takumi, who looked so fragile. A tear was rolling down his cheek. Ren just felt the strong need to protect him. He shall not be hurt by the stupid clown called Junki.

Takumi himself didn't even understand why Ren was acting all angry all of a sudden. Why should he, they've known each other for barely a month.. Or-

.

They had reached the vending machine room. As they entered, Keigo closed the door behind them, explaining that he doesn't want everyone to see what they're doing, since it made him uncomfortable. Ruki and Shosei stood awkwardly next to each other while Keigo was getting a drink. They didn't look at each other. Shosei knew that it was the time to confess right now, but he couldn't think properly. Just Ruki's bare presence made him feel weak. But no, now! It's now or never! He has to at least try, even if he fails-

Keigo suddenly interrupted the weird silence. But his words caused an even weirder one to start.

"By the way, don't you two have something to say to each other? "

He starteled Shosei with that. Heavily. The two of them to each other? Could it be that...

"Come on, ", Keigo said impatiently, "go off. Just pretend like I'm not here. "

Shosei looked nervously at Ruki, who turned around to him. Judging from the look on his face he tried to play it cool, but Shosei could still sense his nervousity. 

"So... ", Ruki started, "there's something I've been meaning to tell you. "  
Shosei gulped. Here it comes.  
Ruki stared at the ceiling for a second, the closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
"This must sound kind of weird since we're not really close or anything, but I.... like you. A lot. "

Shosei's mind was blown. His year-long crush who he was too shy to confess to confessing to him? This can't be reality.  
Ruki laughed nervously. He had said it, he thought. There's no going back now. But what are his chance actually? He's confessing to a pretty much stranger.  
"I'm sorry, this is coming out of nowhere- ", Ruki started, but Shosei interrupted him with a "No-! ", surprising Ruki, who tilted his head.  
Shosei looked at him, not being able to hide his blush. How embarrassing.  
"I meant no, it's not a problem, I'm really happy, because, eh.... " He paused for a moment and looked to the ground, shyly. "........ I actually like you.... too. "

There was a moment of silence, but it was fastly broken. By clapping. Keigo was clapping.  
"Wow, congratulations, you've confessed to each other, will you start dating? Are you boyfriends now? "  
"Well.. ", Shosei started, but Ruki summed up his thoughts with a straight-forward, confident "Yes. "  
Keigo clapped even more, making Shosei feeling very embarrassed. He felt like he was about to die. His brain wouldn't function properly. And his last braincells gave up their job when Ruki laid his arm around him and gave him a sweet smile.  
Is this what death feels like, Shosei thought.

"So what are we gonna do now? ", Ruki, no, his boyfriend asked.  
Shosei felt very proud to be able to correct his thoughts like that.  
"Uhm I guess I wanna tell my friend about this, so... he's in room 2, and we still have 10 minutes of break left.. "  
"Okay! ", Ruki said cheerfully and interlocked hands with Shosei, making said blush heavily.  
"Are we gonna walk through school like his? ", Shosei asked.  
"Yeah, why not? "  
"But that's- "  
Ruki interrupted him by ruffling the younger one's hair.  
"You'll get used to it soon. "

Keigo felt proud as he saw his best friend finally getting together with his crush. He wondered what his boyfriend was doing right now. 

.

Ren had come to stop in front of Junki who was cornered. Ren was still glaring at him, and it made Junki sweat out of fear.  
"Leave Takumi alone, or else. ", he said slowly, in a very threatening way. Junki gulped. What to do now? He didn't want to piss off Ren. That was never a good idea. But how could he have known that Ren was so protective over that pink-haired boy.

Said pink-haired was still not quite comprehending what was happening. Junki had insulted him and in the next moment said Junki had been cornered by a pissed off Ren. No, he hadn't wanted this all. He didn't want to get hurt, but he didn't want anyone to get hurt either.  
Tears were rolling down his cheeks.  
He couldn't move.  
He was paralysed, helpless.  
He was weak.

"You're just weak, pathetic, why would someone care about you? You only cause trouble. "

"You're a burden to us all. "

It was too much. It was too much.  
Takumi couldn't contain it anymore.

He screamed. 

For the first time in his life, he had raised his voice like that.  
And for a moment, everything was silent. Like time was frozen.  
Takumi could feel the tears streaming down his face. Junki looked at him. Ren looked at him. Everyone in the room was looking at him.  
He shook his head around, confused, helpless.  
They're judging him, he thought. They'll come to the conclusion that he's a burden. That they don't need him.  
They'll abondon him, just like before.

Takumi's thoughts went by in a flash. All the memories, all the feelings from that time came up again. The darkness that had slept deep inside him started eating him up.  
He was frozen.  
He couldn't move, just cry.  
He didn't even pay attention to what was happening anymore.  
His mind just revolved around one single thought.

"I'll be alone again. "

The next thing Takumi realised that was happening was someone hugging him.  
It was Shosei.  
His best friend, the person he trusted the most.  
He was saving him when he thought that he had lost everything.  
That's friendship, isn't it? Takumi thought.  
Shosei was rubbing his back, whispering encouraging words like "I'm here for you ", "You're not alone "  
They just existed there, as if they were one, giving comfort to each other's broken soul.  
Ruki was watching them from behind. Friendship is the most important thing, he thought. It's really important. More important than any romantic relationship.  
Meanwhile Keigo gave Junki a glance who immedatly understood the sign, and they walked out of the room together.  
Ren was side-eying the scene. He felt a very weird mix of failure, happiness and envy. But what to do with these feelings? He'll figure out later.

Takumi didn't care about anything happening around him. He felt at home.  
Someone cared about him.

.  
.  
.

"You're just different from everyone. "

"You think in another way."

"It's not a bad thing. "

"It's a gift. "

Everyone had kept telling that Syoya as he had been growing up. That his brain just worked differently. That it picked up infromation quicker. That it was a good thing. "A gift. "  
Well, it may have been, but he hated to label it as such. People believe that being gifted made your life easier, but it doesn't really. For Syoya at least, it had brought him a lot of problems. And most of all, it made him feel so.... lonely. There was no one like him. He was completly alone.  
Always.

.

After the incident with Junki, Shosei and Takumi had met up another time. Well, actually Ruki was there too. Their meeting, which was by the way at Ruki's place, was a weird mix out of introducing boyfriend, helping with school and talking about complicated feelings. In particular Takumi had a lot to talk about. He was nervous. He had never told anyone about his past yet. But both Shosei and Ruki reassured him that he could trust them, so he gathered up his courage. He finally talked about the darkness he carried around.  
He talked about how he had to leave his old high school after he had been bullied for over two years. He had been alone, as an outcast, as someone left out by society, it had greatly affected his mental health which had eventually caused him to transfer schools.  
He didn't even know when and why it had started, but it had just happened. And in just a day it felt like the whole world was against him.  
When he finally transfered schools, he hoped that he could make something out of his chance for a new beginning and therefore tried his best to socialise.  
When he had finished, he looked down for a moment. Everyone was silent. Takumi looked up, into everyone's eyes and sighed. "That's it. ", he said.

Shosei was the first one to speak. He actually didn't speak, he stood up from his seat and sat down next to Takumi. He put his arm around him and gently stroked his back.  
"I understand you. ", he started. " I mean, I wasn't bullied, but I was still an outcast. I was still always very lonely. But, ", he said as he smiled, "with you, I've got a person who I can really trust, someone I can talk to about everything, someone who always supports me." He looked over to Ruki. "Someone through which I've gotten a wonderful boyfriend. "  
"But most importantly, ", he said and put his hands on Takumi's shoulders to turn him so they were facing each other directly,  
"I've found a friend. "

Takumi's mouth stop open for a second, then he broke out into the brightes smile if his life. He had never felt any happier than right now.  
Shosei and he hugged and patted each other's back.  
Yes, he has gained a friend now too, Takumi thought.  
A friend.

They've continued to talk for a long time, over many things, school, classmates, funny stories, and Ruki and Shosei's newly born relationship. After they had talked about that for a bit, Takumi suddenly switched the theme.  
"Can I say something? "  
The others looked at him, surprised.  
"Yeah sure, go off. ", Ruki replied.  
"I've been... quite troubled recently. About my feelings for a certain person. "  
Shosei looked at him. "Kawashiri-kun, right? "  
Takumi nodded softly. "Yeah, him. I think that I'm in love with him. "  
Ruki leaned back into his seat. "And you are concerned that he doesn't like you back? You just gotta ask him out. Even if it's hard. We got it done too. And Shosei's like the shyest person I've ever met. "  
"Though it was actually you who confessed first. "  
"Well Keigo kinda forced me to- "

Takumi smiled as he looked at them. It was cute how they argued in that playful way with each other.  
If he'd ever had a relationship, he'd want it to be like this.

.  
.  
.

When break started, Takumi started to get tense. He knew that today was probably his only chance to ask Ren out since spring break was starting tomorrow.  
But he had to find him first since they've been having different classes for the day. He knew that Ren had PE class, so he had to find someone who was in the same class.  
As he walked through the hallways, he had luck for once and found someone. It was a boy that was easily recogniseable, he had slightly tanned skin and a face that looked like a bean. And he was always accompanied by the guy Takumi liked to call the "Poker face dude ".  
Mamehara Issei, everyone called him Mame though.  
And the name of his poker face friend was Kinjo Sukai.

As Takumi approached the two, Mame waved at him.  
They had talked to each other during math class before.  
"Hey, good to see you two, I was wondering if you know where Kawashiri-kun went? Since you had class together previously. "  
Mame made gesture as if he was thinking hard. "I know that I know it, but I can't think of it right now-"  
"He went to room 4. ", Sukai said coldly.  
"Oh yes that was it.. ", Mame said.  
"Thank you, see you soon then. ", Takumi said as he wanted to go but Mame suddenly grabbed his shoulder and stopped him. "Look! "  
He pointed to the end of the hallway. There was a boy walking while everyone was staring at him. They formed words with their mouths, but it was to loud to clearly hear them. But Takumi could imagine what they were saying.  
"It's that guy again.. ", Sukai whispered.  
"Syoya. ", Takumi answered. "People are bullying him and I can't understand why. "  
"It's because he's smart. ", Mame said. "They are jealous. I wish I could do something to help him. "  
Takumi glanced at him.  
"If you want to change something, you just have to do it. Even the smallest things can have a big impact on such a person. "  
Mame looked at him, not sure if he should believe in that, but Takumi reassureringly nodded at him.  
Then he looked at the clock hanging in the hallway, and realised that break would be over soon.  
"Guys, I need to go now, I really need to talk to Ren, thank you for your help. ", Takumi said as he waved at them and quickly disappeared into the student crowd.

.

When Takumi arrived in the near of the room, Ren was standing next to the door, leaning against the wall and staring into the air. Takumi stopped in front of him, and, with the best of his ability, managed to get out the words "Ren-kun, I need to talk with you. "  
Ren seemed surprised, but he agreed. "You wanna go somewhere else for that? ", he asked.  
As if he could read Takumi's mind.  
"Sure, would be better that way. "  
So they went outside, to a quite isolated corner in the school backyard, where it was sure that no one would see or hear them.  
Ren leaned against a wall.  
"So what do you wanna talk about, Takumi? "

Takumi hoped that Ren couldn't see how nervous he was. He tried his best to not look like an anime girl with blush all over her face. But he had to focus on finding the right words, so he may have looked like that.

Ren could clearly see how nervous Takumi was. He had blush all over his face like an anime girl, but it was cute. Really cute. He just wanted to hug him. He just hoped that this was what he thought that it would be.

"So... ", Takumi started, still very nervous, "..... I guess that I really like... you... so... "  
He wanted to attach the words "would you like to my boyfriend ", but he was interrupted by two things.  
First his tense body that didn't want to work.

And second, Ren hugging him.

Like out of the blue. Out of nowhere.  
Takumi couldn't even properly wrap his arms around Ren, that's how overwhelmed he was. Ren detached himself from him, and Takumi thought that hat was the end, but it wasn't. The second the gap between them had come into existence, Ren closed it again. Even closer than before. With a kiss.

It felt like both an eternity and just a second had passed when Ren pulled away. But Takumi was still shocked. And probably redder in his face than any anime girl ever.  
Ren chuckled at him whilst Takumi was covering his mouth with his hands.

"Why so shocked? Wasn't this what you wanted to say? That you want to date me? ", Ren said.  
"I guess... yeah... ", Takumi said shyly and scratched his head.  
"Shall we have a first date then? ", Ren blurted out.  
"Wait, so quickly- I mean we just- "  
"-kissed. ", Ren finished his sentence.  
Takumi sighed, embarrassed.  
"So next Saturday at 2 pm in the café next to the school? "  
"Well, I guess declining would be rude, so.. "  
Takumi looked at Ren and shyly smiled.

"Let's do this "

.  
.  
.

"Pour in the words of love  
Hold me until I'm dyed in your color  
You give me your "Love u "  
Like this, secretly we are- "

As he listened to the soft strumming of Ruki's guitar paired with his beautiful voice, Shosei was able to fully relax. And forget all stress for a moment. He could just fall asleep on the spot, but Ruki didn't like that. He always needs full attention. It was quite tiring sometimes, but usually Shosei loved to shower his boyfriend with love and affection.

"Like sugar & coffee, we two melt together  
Let's have a bittersweet love  
Like sugar & coffee "

He glanced at his watch. 13:54 pm. Ah right, Takumi had his date soon. With Ren. Shosei was just praying that everything would go well. You never know when Ren is involved.

.

At the same time, Takumi was nervously sitting at a table in a certain café. It was exactly 13:59 pm. He didn't really know Ren as a person that much, he had heard only not so good things about him, but he wasn't sure if that all was true. "No one is truly evil ", he whispered to himself. He kept moving his hands weirdly around in his lap, not knowing how to cope with his nervousity. Then, he was ripped out of his thoughts by a loud "Ya! Takumi! "  
When he looked up, there stood a panting Ren, smiling at him.  
14:01 pm.  
"I'm sorry that I'm late, but I had stuff to take care of. ", Ren said as he sat down in front of Takumi and took of his jacket.  
"Have you already ordered? "  
"No, I thought it would be better to wait for you. "  
Ren smiled. Takumi was too nice for this world. And for him.  
"So... what do you wanna get, Ren-kun? ", Takumi said and pulled out the menu from its holder.  
"You don't have to use honorifics with me, Takumi. ", Ren said, smiling again. He felt like an idiot for smiling so much. But it was reality that Takumi just made him smile whenever he saw him. He thought about this further while they were waiting for their orders to arrive. Takumi really brightened up his world, dyed his black soul pink like his hair. He was truly a light. Maybe he could really help Ren. 

Their orders arrived, served by a young boy both of them recognised. It was Junki, the one that had attacked Takumi earlier this week. He wasn't directly looking at them when he served them, but he exchanged glances with Ren as he walked away. That one glance from Ren probably had more anger and hate in it than Takumi had felt in his complete life.  
But when he looked at Ren, he was smiling. The gap between his serious and soft side was really big. It always made Takumi wonder about how he really was. Was he good or evil?  
But no, he should focus on the moment. He can't deny the fact that Ren is a very much cutie when he smiles.  
Takumi and Ren talked about many things as they sipped their respective drinks, about school, life, each other.  
Takumi glanced at the watch on his phone display.  
16:34 pm.  
"Uhm Ren ", he started, "we've been sitting here for over 2 hours already.. "

"Oh ", Ren said surprised. "You wanna go somewhere else? "

"Yes but where.. "

"Maybe... "

Ren looked Takumi directly into the eyes.

"My house? "

He saw exactly what he was intending to cause. A huge blush on Takumi's face. Very cute.

"Isn't... it... too early for such things? ", he said shyly.

Facepalm.

"I was intending to do that. ", Ren cleared up.  
Making Takumi let out a sigh of relief.

"I thought I could just show you where I live. So you can get to know me better. "

"Then I'm in. I'm curious. ", Takumi said with a smile.

"Good. Come then, it's not far from here. "

Takumi followed the older one out of the café.  
He had no idea of what would be waiting there for him.

.  
.  
.

Ren didn't live in an actual house, but in an appartment. It was quite big though, it had enough space for 4 people to live in it. What Takumi noticed the first was how tidy it was. It was like you could eat from the floor. Amazing. But as he followed Ren to the living room, something bugged him.

"Do you live alone here? "

Ren glanced over his shoulder at him, but said nothing, leaving Takumi wondering, but he decided to stare at the furniture instead of saying anything else.

They reached the living room. It wasn't that big, it hat only a small couch with a TV, a carpet and some bookshelfs. Ren went up to a window and opened it. "It's stinky in here ", he commented.  
Then he sat down on the chouch, letting out a big sigh. Takumi sat down next to him.

"Abput me living alone, actually I live here with my older brother. But he's rarely home, he works full-time. "

"And your parents? "  
Ren looked at him. His eyes spoke more than thousand words. Takumi had never seen him like that. Ren who always seemed so strong the whole time was having tears in his eyes. But Takumi didn't say a word and just took him into his arms. And let him cry into his shoulder.

When they entangled themselves from each other, Ren still looked sad. So Takumi snuggled up to him and said "Hey, you can tell me about your parents. Talking about it is the best way to cope. "  
Ren looked at him.

"You can trust me. "

Ren hesitated.  
But then he started to talk. First slowly, but with time, he seemed to trust Takumi more and more. "Everything started when I was around 13. "  
He talked about how his dad had first died of a stroke and how then his mom died shortly after that in a traffic accident. Leaving the two Kawashiri brothers all alone. Ren's brother was two years older and had just graduated middle school so he went to work right away, trying to make a living for the both of them while Ren was continuing going towards highschool. However, having only a middle school degree, finding jobs what not easier for his brother. He pendled from job to job, making their lifes being accompanied by the constant struggle to survive. 

Listening to Ren talking about all that, Takumi understood why he acted the way he did. Though Takumi felt like he didn't tell him everything yet, he already knew that Ren was just like him, someone chained by his unlucky fate, desperately trying to escape from it. So he felt with Ren as he counted down all the unfortunate events in his life. Takumi felt really happy. There was finally someone who was like him.

When Ren had finished his story, he felt very relieved. Takumi was a good listener and Ren felt that he really understood what he was feeling. He didn't know what had happened to Takumi yet, but he surely had a fate as painful as Ren's. But this connected them. They understood each other. Ren felt really happy. He had found someone who could maybe save him.

And they ended the evening being sad about having to leave each other. They hugged tightly for a last time before Takumi left. Ren looked after him. Yes, he thought, he is the one who will save me. And while Takumi rode the bus home, he thought about Ren's face from today. How he had smiled, how he had cried. He always looked undescribably beautiful regardless of his expression, but Takumi loved his smile the most. When he seemed to be happy, Takumi felt happy too.  
So he decide that he'll do everything in order to protect that smile, to heal Ren's soul that was as broken as his. He decided that he'll save him from his darkness.

-


	2. Act 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Takumi transfers schools.

The day started regularly. But when Takumi entered the school, he felt a pat on his back. When he turned around, Ren was walking besides him. He waved at Takumi and smiled. That adorable smile of his made Takumi's heart flutter. Precious.  
"How are you today? ", he started.  
"Quite well. Saturday cheered me up. ", Ren replied.  
"We should do that more often. ", he added.  
"Yeah... maybe. ", Takumi said and smiled softly.

They continued to chat while walking through the hallways, but suddenly Takumi stopped. His eyes were focusing on the thing that made him freeze like that. Ren followed his gaze and spotted a very familiar person:  
Kono Junki.  
"Takumi, is everything okay? ", he asked, worried, and rub his boyfriend's shoulder.  
Said shook his head and started to go on.  
"Yes, I was just irritated for a moment. Don't worry. "

So Ren shouldn't worry? He shouldn't worry about someone making his lover uncomfortable? He will show this guy what it means to anger him. Takumi was beautiful and fragile like a small flower that had just started to bloom. Who would dare to hurt him? No matter who it was, Ren won't let anyone hurt Takumi.  
But for now he had to move on. He shouldn't do anything in that manner in front of Takumi. He'll give Junki his payback later.

.

Junki was feeling sorry. At the time when everything hadhappened he didn't realise what he was saying. His feelings had taken over him. It was just that throughout his whole life he had always been the number 2. In his family, out of his brothers, in his friend circle, even in sports his older brother always won over him. And now that he had been first in something for once, he had been defeated again. Takumi surely didn't cheat, he was really smart, but Junki's hurt soul didn't accept that at that time. And now, he really regrets it.  
His thought train was interrupted when someone tapped him onto his shoulder. Just by the touch he knew who it was.  
"Keigo, what do you want? "  
Said seemed to be quite offended by Junki's rather harsh tone.  
"Ey are you in a bad mood or did I do something wrong? ", he said, sounding a bit sad.  
Junki turned around and looked at the tall boy with the golden blond hair that seemed to be as fluffy as candy.  
"No, it's not your fault. ", Junki said and sighed.  
Keigo looked at the older one with a worried expression.  
"Wanna get a drink? We can talk about it if you want. ", he asked.  
Junki hesitated but eventually agreed. And so they made their way to the vending machine room. Junki leaned against the wall as he watched Keigo order a lemonade.  
"Do you want one too? ", he asked out of the blue and glanced over his shoulder to meet Junki's eyes.  
"Whatever ", said replied and Keigo turned back to the vending machine.

"Are you still feeling guilty because of Takumi? "

Junki sighed. Keigo could read him too well.

"Yes. I feel like I made a terrible mistake I can't make up for. Takumi is a really nice boy, and he always tries his best to be accepted, but when I insulted him like that, I feel like I destroyed everything. Even this morning, when he saw me in the hallway, he stopped for a moment. Like he was frozen. And then Ren looked at me like that... Ugh, I'm just- "  
He stopped and burried his face in his hands.

He didn't look up nor open his eyes as he heard Keigo walking towards him, but when he heard his soft voice whispering "Hey, open your eyes now. ", he couldn't help but peek.  
What he saw warmed his heart. There was standing Keigo, arms wide open, with a lemonade can in each hand. Junki didn't care about the lemonades though and just let himself fall into the tall boy's arms. He snuggled close to him and put his head against Keigo's chest.

"I really love you for putting up with all of my bullshit. I really do. ", he said with a muffled voice.

"No problem. I love you too. ", his boyfriend whispered softly.

They wished to remain like this longer, but they ultimatly had to seperate as the school bell rang, announcing the end of break. 

"So what should I do now? ", Junki asked while quickly sipping his lemonade as they walked to their classroom.

"I think apologizing to Takumi would be the best. Just to resolve this issue and kick it out of the world. Takumi's nice, so he'll accept it.", Keigo said while doing the same as Junki.

Junki finished his lemonade and threw the can into the next trash can.

"Seems like a good plan. "

.  
.  
.

Ren was relieved when class was finally over. He didn't like going to school, in fact he hated it, so when it's over he feels glad. Also, he has something to do after school today. And he was excited about it. Well, excitement may be the wrong term since what was about to do wasn't a thing the average person would be excited about. When he walked through the school gate, he waved at Takumi, telling him that he still had stuff to do. Then he turned back and walked towards the entrance. He'll find the person that made Takumi cry and give him his deserved punishment.

Ren was relieved when class was finally over. He didn't like going to school, in fact he hated it, so when it's over he feels glad. Also, he has something to do after school today. And he was excited about it. Well, excitement may be the wrong term since what he was about to do wasn't a thing the average person would be excited about. When he walked through the school gate, he waved at Takumi, telling him that he still had stuff to do. Then he turned back and walked towards the entrance. He'll find the person that made Takumi cry and give him his deserved punishment.

Luckily he had cleaning today with that person. So he went to the storage room to get the cleaning tools and walked through the hallways, peeking into each of the classrooms in order to find who he was looking for. And finally, at the almost very end he found Junki wiping the floor.  
He approached quietly, carefully carrying a bucket of water.  
"Hi Junki. "  
Junki turned around and was about to reply when he got water splashed into his face.  
He stumbled back and dropped his mop.  
"Ugh what... Ren now I've got water all over me! ", he exclaimed. His vision was blurry, but Ren's platinium hair was unmistakeable.  
But that Ren didn't say anything. He stepped closer, and with each step he took Junki took one backwards. He looked behind him and saw that he was about to get cornered, but that made him stumble even more towards the wall until he felt it at his back. Ren was staring at him with the same glare he had had the other day. A glare that could kill. Junki was sweating again. He was actually a buffed guy with quite some muscles, but against Ren he was weak. Ren wasn't particularly physically strong, but he was intimidating. His eyes had a power that was out of this world. They could make anyone freeze right on the spot and obey him. And Junki wasn't any different.

"See Junki, do you know what you've done wrong? "

Junki gulped. He did. The guilt had been lying heavily on his shoulders ever since that day had happened. He wanted to speak, but his mouth didn't let him.

Ren, seemingly angry at the lack of response, spoke with a very slow and threatening voice.

"If you can't admit to your mistakes, I'll make you feel them. "

And before Junki could say a word he was punched into the stomach.  
It hurts, it hurts. He sank down to the ground, eyes already teary. No, why was he crying already? He shouldn't lose. Not again. Never again!

That's what he said in his head, but reality was different. Ren was already holding him up by his hair, eyes full of hate.  
That's the sight of defeat, Junki thought.  
He could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn't been able to win again. He had fucked it up again. Like always.

"If you try to just speak to Takumi again I will come back to you again. Understood? "

Junki's eyes were widened and full of fear. He was shaking. He was crying. He was losing.  
A second passed, and then Ren let go of Junki, who dropped down. Ren turned away from him and walked towards the door.

"And oh, ", he said and glared at him over his shoulder, "if you tell anyone about this I'll kill you. Don't think you can hide. I'll know when you just say a word about this. "

And then he left the room.  
Junki just stayed in the corner where he had been left, terrified, crying, hurt.  
He had been defeated again. He had again not been strong enough. Just when will the moment come where he'll lose absolutly everything?

.  
.  
.

Takumi was hesitating. He looked at his phone that was laying in front of him, he looked at Ren's contact info that was being displayed on the screen. Should I call him? He might be busy right now, he thought. But he had also told you that you can call him whenever you need to talk.. Takumi sighed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he took his phone and called Ren.

Tut. Tut. Tut. 

Click!

"Hello? Takumi? "

"Hi, it's me. ", Takumi answered almost immedatly.

"Is there something up? You sound so stressed somehow. "

Like always, Ren could read his mind.

"Do you have time right now? "

"Yeah. For you, always. "

Takumi smiled at that. But that smile quickly faded as he knew what he was going to talk about.

"You know, I've recently been feeling... Ah, I don't know how to properly describe it.. "

"Try to. I'm listening. "

A moment of silence followed as Takumi tried to gather his thoughts.

"I've been feeling... lonely, I guess. "  
"I know it sounds stupid, ", he quickly added, "but thought I know that I have friends, Shosei and Ruki for example, but I sometimes feel.. like there's no deeper connection. "  
He scratched his head. "I'm sorry, I can't really explain it. "

"Don't worry, Takumi. You're not alone, you have me! ", Ren replied.

Takumi smiled slightly. "Yes. Thank you for reminding me. ", he said softly, almost whispering.

Ren laughed through the phone. "You don't have to worry. "

"Because I'll always love you "

.  
.  
.

"Junkichi? Is something wrong? "

"Mhm. "

Junki didn't clearly answer Keigo, making his boyfriend a little bit upset and puzzled at the same time. Even though Junki didn't really talk about his feelings a lot by himself, he usually talked about it when Keigo asked.

Keigo leaned closer to Junki so that their noses where almost touching.

"Are you hiding something from me? "

Junki looked weirdly at him for a second and the bursted out in laughter, confusing Keigo again. "What- you've almost spat me on the face-! ", he exclaimed in a sarcastic tone.

But Junki continued laughing. And maybe that wasn't bad. As long as Keigo could cheer Junki up just a bit everything was fine. 

"Hey, you wanna hear a scary story, Junkichi?"

"Stop calling me like that. It's embarrassing. "

"But I like it! It's cute! "

Junki sighed, but he still couldn't help but smile. 

"Just tell me your scary story, Keigochi. "

.  
.  
.

Takumi was waiting. He was waiting for Ren to come back. He was currently sitting in the older's living room, while Ren had gone out to buy some coffee. Takumi desperatly needed one. He was feeling like shit again today. He wasn't too sure what made him feel that way, but it surely had to do with Junki. Even though he felt like Junki didn't really mean it, he was still hurt, because Junki had hit his exact weak point. Takumi let out a deep sigh. In that moment the front door's lock clicked.  
Takumi immedatly stood up and walked rather fastly to the entrance to welcome Ren with a big hug. "Woah Takumi, I'll drop the coffee if you continue like this. "

Said just chuckled and let go. "Welcome back, Ren. "  
"You welcoming me into my own house feels like you've already moved in here. "

"That didn't happen though "

"Yet "

"Silly. "

Ren took of his outdoor clothes off and together, each with a warm coffee in their hands, they sat down on the couch. They talked about everyday stuff as they sipped their drinks. Just normal things. But once Takumi had finished the coffee, he put the cup beside and unexpectedly snuggled up to Ren, resting his head on his shoulder. Ren, who hadn't finished his cup yet, blushed a little.  
"I'm not finished yet. "  
Takumi knew that Ren was actually weak with direct contact, so he loved teasing him like this.  
"Just put the damn coffee aside and focus on me. "  
"But- "  
Before Ren could speak any further, Takumi grabbed his coffee cup and quickly put it away, then proceeded to cuddle even closer with him. Ren sighed. Not that he wanted to complain though. He enjoyed the intimacy with Takumi, he was just bad at initiating such stuff because he was shy.  
And so Ren and Takumi just sat there, Takumi resting his head on Ren's shoulder, looking like he was about to sleep, and Ren gently stroking Takumi's hand that he was holding with his thumb.  
After a while, Takumi suddenly sat up, breaking the close contact.

"Ren, can I talk to you about something? "

Ren nodded. "Of course. Always. "

Takumi bit his lower lip. You can trust him, he thought. You can trust him.

"I... just wanted to thank you. ", he almost whispered, smiling softly.

Ren tilted his head in slight confusion. "For what though? "

Takumi chuckled. "It sounds really cheesy, but for you just being with me. "  
"You know, ", he continued, "I have a hard time because I always feel like no one cares about me. But you, you show that you care about me, you always do, and that's really important for me. Even if you just smile when you see me. It really means a lot to someone like me. "

Ren smiled. He loved this side of Takumi so much. He was so grateful and expressed it adorably. How can't you not love this guy?

"You know, I came here being all alone and I thought that I'll end up like before, hated by everyone, but now I have you... " Takumi offered Ren a huge smile.  
"It's really a big relief for me. I can talk to you about everything. You are there for me. I've never had someone like that. "

Ren held his arms out wide and pulled Takumi into a hug. He stroked the younger's pink hair gently as he spoke. "I'm so glad to have you, too. I was also always alone, people always rejected me, I always had to fight alone, but now I have you. I'm not alone anymore. "

And they sat there, hugging each other, eyes closed, just enjoying the short moment of shared affection.  
Until Ren pulled away and placed his hands on Takumi's shoulders.

"You know.. ", Ren whispered, "I really can't express how much you mean to me. "  
He smiled softly. "I sometimes feel like a fool for thinking like that but I just feel like we're destinied for each other. Like we complete each other. We help each other. We need each other. "

"Yeah, it is like that. I also love you to an extend that I can't comprehend", Takumi said, making Ren smile brightly. 

"I guess that's why we're boyfriends. "

"Yeah. Because we love each other. "

They smiled at each other, and Takumi looked shyly away as Ren started to slowly pull his face closer to his own but ultimately gave into the kiss. They didn't do this too often, due to Ren's occasional and Takumi's constant shyness, so these rare moments were special.  
Something very special, just for the two of them.

.  
.  
.

"Takumi. "

"Takumi... "

"Takumi! "

"Huh? ", Takumi said surprised as he quickly rose up from his desk. Shosei looked at him, worried. "You fell asleep.. for the third time today now. Didn't you sleep well? " 

Takumi scratched the back of his head. "I did, but I don't know. I've just felt really tired recently. "

"Hm ", Shosei said as he stood up and started gathering his things so they could go to the next room. Takumi rubbed his eyes, he felt really exhausted, but he also started packing.

"You've been recently hanging out with Ren a lot, I mean really a lot, did you have- "  
"No! ", Takumi interrupted him, embarrassed. "We didn't do anything like that. ", he stated as he grabbed his bag. Shosei did the same and together they walked to their next class.

"Then what you do then? Do you just sit around sipping coffee all day? ", Shosei asked as they walked through the hallway.

"We talk a lot. ", Takumi explained. "About our problems. Especially Ren. "

"So you're kind of like each other therapist? "

"Yeah, like that. "

"Hm. "

A moment of silence followed.

"But Takumi, ", Shosei said with a worried tone, "don't overdo it. I know that you care for him, but if it's too draining you sgould take a break. "

Takumi didn't answer. Taking a break? How could he do that to Ren? Ren would be alone without him again. Takumi didn't want that. Ren shouldn't have to struggle alone. Takumi would help him. He would safe him from falling down again. That was his job.

.  
.  
.

It's another ordinary day for Syoya. Another ordinary day of him getting insulted, slandered, ignored. Another day of him just existing being hurt by people he didn't know and that didn't know him either. And no one cared. That was his life.

.

Mame didn't listen really to Sukai as his friend talked, he wasn't interested right now. Sukai seemed to have noticed so he stopped. Then something cought his attention so he grabbed Mame's shoulder and stopped him.  
"Look who's there. "

Name followed his friends gaze, and there was Syoya. Kneeling on the groud like always. People were gathered around him, forming a circle. They were pointing at the small boy as he tried to collect his books. A guy stepped onto his hand, making him squeal in pain. And everyone was laughing.

Mame and Sukai watched from afar in shock. Sukai implied that he wanted to just continue going, however Mame stood still. He felt so angry. Syoya didn't deserve that. No one deserved that. He remembered what Takumi had said to him. "If you want to change something, you just have to do it. "  
Yes. That's right. He has to do something now.

.

It felt like it would never end, this misery. Each and every day of his life was painful, and it never ended. There was no moment where he wasn't on the ground, where oeople weren't laughing at him. Yes, it was just that everyone, his fate and the whole world hated him. There was no light in this situation, everything was black.  
Syoya closed his eyes. Isn't it pointless to try?

"What are you doing? "

Syoya opened his eyes.  
There stood a boy, arguing with the guys that had been bullying him. Syoya didn't really listen to what they said. Was this even real?  
He felt like he was going to faint, he felt so tired, so exhausted. His eyes felt heavy. This was probably a dream anyways, so-

"Wah, watch out you'll hit your head! "

Syoya blinked. Someone was holding him in his arms. The boy that had argued with the other guys - who were gone now - had catched him before ge fell to the ground again. "You didn't have to do that. ", Syoya said and freed himself from the boy's arms.  
"But I did it. "

"Why though? There was absolutly no reason. "

"Do I always need a reason? ", the boy exclaimed loudly, making Syoya turn to look at him.

The boy blinked. "Ah yes, my name is Mamehara Issei, 3rd year, everyone calls me Mame! "

What is this boy. First he comes up to safe a randome person and now he's all cheerful? Doesn't he understand?, Syoya thought and furrowed his brows.

"I'm apologise for him, he doesn't think before he speaks. "  
Suddenly a tall guy with a cold gaze came from the back and kbeeled down to the other two. "My name's Sukai btw. And to make it clear, Mame here really admires you and he wanted to be your friend. ", he said while pointed at the other boy.

"My... friend? ", Syoya said, bewildered.

"Yes, ", Mame said enthusiastically. "I wanna be your friend. So, ", he said and extended his hand towards Syoya, "stop doubting it now and just come with us. You shouldn't isolate yourself. You're not alone anymore! "

Syoya hesitated for a moment, but he finally took Mame's hand and stood up.  
Sukai looked around and coincidentally he spotted Takumi who seemed like he had been absorbing them from afar. Sukai gave him a thumbs up and Takumi smiled in a tired manner, then he walked out of Sukai's sight.

As Syoya walked with the other two guys, he felt like he had just been reborn. He still had to properly realise it, but his head kept repeating what Mame had said to him earlier.

"You're not alone anymore "

.  
.  
.

It hurts.  
It hurts.  
Every step hurts.  
It's pure pain, having spikes piercing through his bare feet with every step he took.  
But Takumi didn't complain in any way as he walked through the spikes. Not that it didn't hurt, but he had been walking like this for so long. So he tried his best and continued. To wherever he was going in the darkness.  
At least he was not alone, he felt that he was carrying someone on his back. But he couldn't see who it was, he had to keep looking forward.  
The person on his back kept mumbling something though.  
"Help me... "

Every word pierced trough his chest, it was so painful.

"Help me.. "

Wait, wasn't that-

"Help me.... "

Takumi's eyes widened. 

"Takumi, you have to safe me! "

Takumi turned his head to the side and looked into the yes of the familar voice's owner.  
It was Ren.

Takumi's eyes stood wide open. Thank god, it had just been a nightmare. But.. a weird one. Why had Ren been in it? Why did he call for help? And why did that hurt Takumi so much?  
He looked to his side where Ren was laying. They had a sleepover today. Ren had also woken up with Takumi, he looked sleepy and he just mumbled "Don't worry Takumi.. come to me... you're not alone.. "  
Takumi repeated these words in his head as Ren came closer to back-hug him. Ren's body was warm. But it felt... strange. Takumi couldn't say why. Maybe.. No, he didn't want it to be that way. That would be horrible. I couldn't be true.  
But it was undenieable that something felt weird.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment or reach me on Twitter @/shoseilovemail


	3. Act 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Takumi transfers schools.

The next weeks were... undescribable. They were as boring as ever, as wonderful as ever when spent with Ren, but also tiring and most of all, something just felt off the whole time. But Takumi couldn't figure out what it was.

He sighed and looked at his desk. What was this feeling? Why was he feeling like this?  
Takumi stretched.  
He didn't want that. He didn't want to-

"EY! "

Without realising it he had rammed his arm into the face of his neighbour. And that was something he'll regret forever. Because that person just had to be Tsurubo Shion.

Takumi had never really gotten involved with Shion, mostly because he had this very threatening aura like he was about to stab you if you just came close, so basically everyone avoided him. Takumi had seen Shosei look at Shion with worried eyes sometimes, but he didn't really care, he rather thought about Ren. At that time at least.

Now Shion was staring angrily at him, looking like he was about to fight. He stood up and so did Takumi. All eyes were on them. Takumi was sweating. He was scared. What will this guy do now? He had no clue.  
What he knew was that Ren walked up to them, interferring the moment.  
"Touch him or I'll kill you. "

It made Takumi feel a weird mix of safe and uncomfortable and he couldn't comprehend why. His boyfriend was protecting him, why did he feel so uncomfortable?  
Shion didn't say anything, he just stared at Ren. Then he took some quick steps towards him and raised his arm in attempt to hit him but he was ultimately stopped. Ren had been faster with grabbing the arm that was aiming at his face and putting it to a hold within the air. He glared at Shion. "You wanna fight? ", he said with that threatening voice again. Now he wasn't the soft shy Ren Takumi knew, he was a beast. He was so intimidating, he could probably make even a lion wince.  
Shion glared back at him, he tried to keep the eye contact. "Do you wanna lose again? ", Ren whispered slowly. "Do you wanna be in pain again? Oh I forgot,you're still not over it, aren't you? "  
That was enough. Shion couldn't keep the eye contact anymore. He pulled his arm out of Ren's grib and walked away, quickly, out of the room. He didn't even look at the other students. It was too painful. He couldn't let them see his tears.

.

Now Shion was sitting in a corner of a today empty classroom, crying all by himself. It's always like this. He always ends up hurting alone. Because no one understood him. And he had lost the only person that did to his selfishness. Yes, wasn't that his reality? No one loved him, no one wanted to be his friend. He wasn't capable of having relationships of any sorts.  
It was his fate to be completly alone.

Shriek.

That was the sound of the door opening. Shion looked up and met the eyes of a very worried-looking Shosei.

He immedatly looked away, ashamed of his tears. But Shosei just sat down next to him and looked at him. Eventually Shion turned back to face the older one.  
"Why did you come here... ", he said with a muffled voice.  
"Because I am worried! ", Shosei almost shouted, surprising Shion for a second. Shosei usually never raised his voice.  
Shion turned away again, his feelings were complicated. He felt so glad that someone cared about him but he also didn't want to show his tears at any cost. It was so complex, so wicked. People could try to help him all like they want, but it didn't do anything because no one really understood him.

"You know Shion, I understand that you feel so hurt. But you still don't have to snap at unrelated people. They all have heir own- "  
"SHUT UP!!! "

Shion glared at him, full of anger.  
"And does that make my problems invalid?? What do you even know about me?? "

Shosei sighed.  
"We've been going to the same schools since kindergarten. I have known you my whole life. "

"That still doesn't mean anything. "

"But even if I don't know anything, ", Shosei said as he reached his hand out to comfort Shion, " I'm just trying to help- "

"YOU CAN'T HELP ME! ", Shion shouted as he slapped Shosei's arm away. He paused for a moment, Shosei looked at him with a baffled and worried expression.  
"You don't understand me at all. No one does. That's why no one can help me. I'll be like this forever, unable to move on. "

Shosei turned away from him. It was true, throughout all the years he had never really noticed the darkness his classmate was absorbed in. Especially since he went through his break up. Shion had been dating Reito, a popular student, that's why it quickly spread when they broke up roughly about a year ago. Shion hadn't been able to move on since. The breakup had just totally wrecked his already hurt soul. Shosei felt bad for not helping him. He had been too busy with his own struggles. They had never been that close, but he still felt responsible as they went to the same schools since kindergarten. But now that he was on the way to healing, he wanted to help Shion. He knew that he was an essentially kind person, he didn't deserve this.  
He gathered up his courage and voiced out an assumption, hoping to hit Shion's hidden heart.

"You know, I think that your problem is that you don't trust people enough. "

Silence. That means that Shosei was correct.

"If you don't let people into your life, then no one will be able to ever understand you. "

Still no reply. Shosei left it as that, he didn't want to overwhelm Shion. He didn't seem like that but in reality he was really fragile.

Then Shosei heard sobs. Quit, muffled sobs. Shion had burried his head in his knees, but Shosei could see the tears dripping onto the ground. He put his arm on the younger one's back, softly stroking it.  
"You don't have to hide your tears. It's okay to cry. "  
Shion looked up and his expression was probably the most honest he had ever been to a person. The tears were streaming down his face, and he just looked at Shosei. He hadn't cried even in front of Reito. He felt so uneasy, like someone could break him soon, but he also felt better. Being honest was better.  
Shosei smiled at him and took him into his arms, patting his back and letting him cry. After Shion had calmed down, they still remained in this position, until Shion pulled away. His eyes were still red and swollen, but he smiled at Shosei. A true, honest smile.

"Thank you. "

.  
.  
.

"If the stars would fall down and this world would be destroyed  
I want to snuggle up to your side and sing a song  
And you'd still- "

"Ruki. "

Shosei didn't like interrupting Ruki while he was playing, but right now he just needed to.  
"What is it, love? ", Ruki said as he put his guitar down.  
"Can you please play a different song? I'm not in the mood for something happy today. "

Ruki looked at him, a bit worried, but eventually picked up his guitar and started to play again. He didn't know what was exactly going on, but Shosei had these phases quite often, especially with music. Though he had been like that remarkably often recently. But, he didn't think too much, he just obeyed.

Shosei closed his eyes as he listened to the sad melody. He thought of what had been happening for the last months, of both the very good and the very bad things. It was just a huge mix, he didn't know how to exactly feel. But Ruki, as empathic as ever, had just picked the right song that expressed a very particular conflict in his head. Not a conflict he was in, but a conflict Takumi was in- a dangerous one, and he dudn't even seem to realise. Shosei just hoped for the best as he listened to the melancolic words and the melodic guitar strumming.

"I stare at myself in the mirror  
And I just throw pointless questions at myself  
My desire can't be satisfied  
Where did the confusion even start?  
It's like an incomprehensible puzzle  
A gamble that's just wanting to resign  
Just what does the broken me want? "

.  
.  
.

On a beautiful Monday morning Keigo walked up to the rooftop, with his favorite lemonade in his right hand and worries in the head. But luckily, there was someobe else sitting there, admuring the beautiful view. It was his best friend Ruki.  
Ruki waved at him and Keigo sat down next to him, opening his lemonade and drinking a bit from it. "What have you been up to lately? ", he asked the older one. "Not much, he answered. But I've been a bit concerned recently. "  
"Hmm you and concerned? That's something new. "  
Ruki seemed like he had a perfect life. His family was rich, hus grades were good, he was popular and he had a lovely boyfriend.  
But yes, he had concerns too. Keigo knew that all too well.  
Ruki sighed. "I'm just a bit worried about Shosei.. he seems a bit down recently. And like you know, I'm not good at taking the initiative, so I don't know how to cheer him up. "

Keigo finished his lemonade and threw the can into the next available trash can. "Just hug him, hold his hand, give him affection.. That works with Junki at least. Ah, doesn't he love pudding? You could buy him some. "  
Ruki leaned back and chuckled. "I don't know how I never come up with this stuff. It's so simple. "  
"At least you try to do something. ", Keigo threw in. Then he looked up to the sky.  
"The clouds are beautiful today, aren't they?

Ruki nodded. "Indeed. "

"I hope that our futures will be as beautiful as that. Regarding our relationships. "

Ruki chuckled again. "Yeah, I hope so too. "

.  
.  
.

"Ruki, please play something sadder. "

Said put his guitar away and sighed. Which made Shosei look away, thinking he's annoying now. But Ruki just came closer to him, very close actually, until he was sitting exactly next to his boyfriend. Who got shy at the action. "Shosei.. ", Ruki spoke with a gentle voice, "what's up with you? I'm worried. "  
Shosei let out a sigh, but didn't reply. "Come on, you can talk to me about it. That's what I'm here for. "  
Shosei sighed another time and put his head onto Ruki's shoulder, who immedatly began to stroke the younger's blonde hair.  
"It has nothing to do with me or you, I'm just worried about Takumi. "

"Why that? "

"I don't really know, but I feel like Ren is damaging him. Like have you seen Takumi recently? He's constantly tired. Most of the time when I ask him if we could hang out on the weekend he's already booked for Ren. "  
Ruki nodded at Shosei's statement. He had noticed it too. And he didn't even see Takumi that often.  
"So you're worried over him? ", Ruki asked back.  
"..... Yes. ", Shosei replied softly..

"Maybe you should tell Takumi that. "

Shosei lifted his head up and sat up straight. "Already did. I think that he doesn't realise it, he's too cought up in his delusion. "

He let out a deep sigh. "It seems hopeless. ", Shosei said as he stared at the wall, looking a bit lifeless. Ruki knew, Shosei took up a lot of emotions, he easily got negative and hopeless when exposed to these emotions. He doesn't like seeing him sad, it really breaks his heart, but what should he do? He remembered what Keigo had told him. Take a breath Ruki, he told himself. And pull through.

"Even then you still gotta talk to him, until he realises it. ", he said as he stood up and walked in front of Shosei, who looked up to him, a bit confused.  
"Also, ", Ruki continued as he sat down in front of Shosei, "I can help you. " He took Shosei's hand and squeezed it. "I'm good at convincing people. ", Ruki stated and winked.  
And Shosei smiled at that. He knew the best that Ruki wasn't good at stuff like this, so whenever he tried it was just adorable. And that wink just now? What a tease. 

"Do that. Talk him into the groud with your salesman skills. "  
"You really want me to talk? You know it'll get long. You'd have to listen all the time. "  
"I don't mind at all. You know that I love hearing you talking. " Shosei looked down as he smiled. "I like the way you talk. "  
Ruki chuckled. "Stop being so cute or I might just hug you to death. "  
Shosei turned around so that Ruki faced his back. "Do it. "  
Ruki sighed. "Stop teasing me. "  
He ended up back-hugging Shosei. It was very comfortable because Shosei was warm and his hair and clothes were fluffy, so Ruki felt like he could just fall backwards and sleep like this forever. And that was rare because he usually wasn't really sleepy.  
But he didn't want to irritate Shosei by falling backwards, so he decided to just rest his chin on Shosei's shoulder and closed his eyes, enjoying the moment.

Despite how he had felt earlier, Shosei was in heaven now again. He forgot how healing it had been to talk to Ruki openly. And to hug him. And to-

Shosei freed himself from Ruki, who was surprised and looked a bit hurt, but Shosei just turned around so they were positioned face to face. Ruki looked a bit perplex, but Shosei smiled at him as he put his hand on his boyfriend's cheek and started to come closer.  
They met in a kiss, one of many emotions, of love and passion, of comforting and healing. It was short yet eternal. A precious, rare moment. When they finally seperated, Ruki smiled and Shosei giggled shyly. 

For just a moment, it felt like the world wasn't as broken as it really was.

.  
.  
.

Keigo felt like a zombie walking through the hallways. His head hurts, its hurts so much, it was full of thoughts. He was worried about Junki. He knew that was still troubled because of what happened with Takumi, Junki was the type to have a lot of regrets, but Keigo had already told him about more than one month ago to just apologize to Takumi, but he felt like Junki's mood had been progressively getting worse since then. And it bothered him a lot.  
As his boyfriend, he always tried to cheer him up, and Junki would laugh at these times, but the next day he'd come to school looking all hurt again. Keigo had began to start thinking that it may be his fault. Maybe their realitionship was breaking.. No, he didn't want to think about that. Losing Junki was a cruel thought. He had to do everything possible to avoid this.  
But what should he do? That was the main problem right now. Ruki was off to a school trip to the mountains so he couldn't ask him for advice. But luckily, he ran into someone that could maybe help him.  
As he spotted the familiar face within the crowd, Keigo paced up to reach that person and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hi Sho-kun. Could I borrow a bit of your time? "

The student council president was surprised, but nodded and they walked to the council's room because it was way too loud in the hallway and the room was close.  
The student council's room was rather spacious, with a giant table surrounded by a decent amount of chairs. Sho sat down on his seat at the very top, onto a large, majestic chair fitting the position he had. Keigo sat down onto the next closest chair.

Sho folded his hands and placed them on the table, leaning towards Keigo.  
"So what's your problem? "

"Uhm, it's kinda weird but I need your help to save my relationship. ", Keigo replied, a bit embarrassed. After all it was Junki's big brother he was talking to.

"So it's about Junki? "

"Yes.. I think that he might be sick of me. "

Sho looked at him with a shocked expression, making Keigo chuckle a bit, but it was rather desperate. "Are you making fun out of me? "

"No, not at all! ", the older one replied, looking almost a bit indignant. "I just think that that couldn't be farther from the truth. I don't believe that this guy will ever stop loving you."

"Ah, how come so? ", Keigo almost whispered, not really believing Sho.

"You can't see that, but whenever he comes home after meeting up with you he literally glows. Like he still talks about you sometimes, about your achivements, and he looks so happy and passionate, it's inevitable to notice."

Keigo was stunned for a moment. ".... Really? He does that? "

Sho verified it with a confident nod.

"Then I'm glad. Thank you. "

"No problem. ", Sho said as he leaned back and stretched. "Anything else? "

"Yeah, ", Keigo said and scratched the back of his head. "I wanna cheer Junki up and try to help him with his emotions, but he doesn't want to tell me about it. And I don't wanna dig too much when he may feel uncomfortable. So could you maybe advice him to just... I don't know, trust his boyfriend more... Tell him that I'll always be ready to listen to him. "

Keigo looked down at his fingers that he had been fidgeting with for the past minutes. 

"Just tell him that he shouldn't play strong, that he can rely on me more. "

"That it's okay to be weak sometimes. "

.  
.  
.

Sho was a bit tense as he stood in front of the door to Junki's room. Their relationship as siblings wasn't the best and on top of that Junki's mood hadn't been very good today. But Keigo had asked him so nicely to deliever his words to Junki, so he had to do this. Maybe he could even try to loosen up the tension between them just for a bit.  
When he knocked onto the door, he heard a tired "Who is it? Come in. ", and when he entered, he met Junki's eyes that wided at the sight of his older brother. He sighed and stood up from the chair in front of his desk. Sho quietly closed the door behind himself.  
"I have something to tell you."

Junki put his hands on his own hips and rolled his eyes. "Make it quick and short, I don't have time for you, I have to study. "

"Today during break Keigo came up to me and asked me for advice. ", Sho started.  
"Keigo? Why did he ask you for advice? ", Junki replied, empathising the 'you '.  
"Well, I'm the student council president- "  
"Yeah, just continue rubbing it into my face. ", Junki cut him off and turned away.

"Junki, actually Keigo came to me because he was worried that you had stopped loving him."

Junki turned around almost immedatly, going "WHAT? I would never- "  
Then he paused.  
"I will never stop loving him. Never. "

Sho smiled at him. "That's what I told him too. But that's not the end. He also told me that he was really worried about your mental state because of 'the Takumi thing ' and that he wanted to talk to you about it but he didn't know how, so he sent me. "

"So you wanna talk this out with me? Request denied. ", Junki answered with a quite rough tone.

Sho shook his head. "No. He just told me to tell his words to you. "  
Sho paused for a moment, then started to recite Keigo's words from earlier.

"You shouldn't play strong, you can rely on me. "

"It's okay to be weak sometimes. "

Silence. 

Junki was looking down, and he didn't move. He was just... overwhelmed with these words. It was what he had been going through for the last months, no, for the last years... He thought that no one would ever notice but out of all it had been Keigo who did... Junki was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't realise Sho coming close to hug his younger brother, nor did he bother. He would usually glare angrily at Sho or give another sign to not come close but right now it didn't matter to him. 'It's okay to be weak sometimes ', 'It's okay to be weak sometimes ', he kept repeating it in his head.

And finally a tear rolled down his cheek.

Sho noticed and started stroking Junki's back gently to comfort his brother, who started sobbing softly. Sho suddenly thought of something he had been wanting to tell Junki, and right now it seemed like a perfect moment. He just had to be careful with his words and timing.  
So he waited for a bit to not ruin the precious, rare moment, until Junki wasn't really crying anymore.

"Junki, I actually have something I want to tell you myself. "

Junki didn't reply, so Sho just went on.

"You know, our relationship as siblings isn't the best, and it makes me kind of sad. I feel like you're comparing yourself too much to me. "

Still no reply. 

"I'm just assuming but I feel like you always want to be better than me in everything, and when you realise that you have lost again you get frustrated. "

Junki opened his mouth, but he didn't say anything and closed it again.  
Sho put his hands on Junki's shoulders and pulled him away so that they were facing each other.

"But you still are a great person. Even if you can't achieve everything, that doesn't mean you have nothing. "

Junki's eyes were widened, and Sho smiled at him. The words that he had just said flushed through Junki's mind, and along with remembering Keigo's words, he was crying again. He immedatly covered his face with one hand, but Sho took it and removed it.  
"Junki, weren't you just told that it's okay to be weak? "

Junki looked at him and nodded. It was hard, crying in front of his brother.  
Though he was always pretending like he was hating him he actually admired him a lot. Since they were young, Sho had been a bright existence, getting good grades, being popular and reliable as a leader of many things.  
When Junki became older, his admiration turned into a passion to win, he wanted to be like his brother, to be the number one. But when he failed it crushed him. And his passion turned into hate. He had wanted so desperatly to be like Sho that whenever he lost it destroyed his self-confidence. And that had made him do horrible things. He had insulted an innocent person, had caused someone to show their worst side and had made his boyfriend feel like their relationship was breaking.  
And it made him afraid of being weak. He found that he should be strong and forgot that he didn't have to always be like that. And now he had to be reminded of that.  
But he felt grateful, knowing that the people around him cared. Now he could talk to Keigo and maybe even get on better terms with his brother.

.  
.  
.

Mame looked curiously when Syoya received his test paper.  
"Wow! Full score! ", he exclaimed, but Syoya just furrowed his brows and said "Please don't shout this out, everyone can hear it. "  
"But aren't you proud? I mean it's 100 percent! I only got 67.. ", Mame said and looked at his own paper. English just wasn't his subject.  
"Well yes but I just don't want everyone to hear it. "  
"Because you are afraid they might pick on you? Don't worry about that, you have us now! "  
With 'us ' he was referring to him and Sukai who was absent today. But Mame was as cheerful as ever. He talked about the test and stuff while they walked through the hallways. Syoya swayed his gaze around and saw one of the guys that used to bully him, he stopped for a moment but Mame noticed and quickly said "Ignore him, don't pay attention. "  
So Syoya looked away and they continued going their way. The topic had switched to Mame talking about how great and smart Syoya was and about how much he admired him. That was intentional, Syoya thought. But he appreciated it.  
It made him appreaciate his gift and not hate it like he used to.

Maybe he could even start loving it one day.

.  
.  
.

Junki quietly entered Keigo's home and took off his shoes to change into slippers. Keigo's home was quite big but he could smell delicious carbonara even from the entrance.  
It was his absolute favorite food, so he couldn't resist and ran towards the kitchen.  
There was Keigo in an apron, desperatly trying to manage cooking noodles while grilling bacon and mixing the carbonara sauce. It was a mess, and Junki just smiled, appreciating the effort. He walked towards Keigo and took his hand, "Shall I lend you my hand? You seem a bit troubled. "

Keigo blushed a little and just nodded, so Junki decided to take care of the sauce, his favorite part. Some egg yolk, a handful of cheese, a bit of cream and a good mix of salt and pepper made it perfect. In the meantime Keigo had finished the rest, so they combined everything and sat down to eat.  
Junki let out a happy "Mhm~ ", very satisfied with the outcome. Keigo smiled, Carbonara wasn't exactly his thing - though this one tasted pretty good, he had to admit - but Junki totally loved it.  
They finished, put the dishes away and sat down at the table again, opposite to each other.  
Keigo looked Junki into the eyes, but Junki looked down.

"Keigo, I'm sorry I made you feel this way- "

"It's okay ", Keigo cut him off, "I was just overthinking, don't worry. "

Junki sighed.

"Still, I didn't- "

"Didn't what? "

Junki faced the younger one.

"I didn't tell you about what was going on. "

Keigo tilted his head. "What? "

The other one looked to the side, ashamed.

"Did you cheat on me????", Keigo threw in and banged with his hands on the table, scaring Junki for a moment.

"No! ", said exclaimed back. "How could I. "

"Then what's up? Come on, you can tell me. "

Junki hesitated. But he had to do this. He had to be honest. At least with Keigo.

"A few days after... the thing with Takumi... Ren visited me during cleaning session... he threatened me to never talk to Takumi again."  
Junki frowned at the memory of that day.  
"He beat me up, actually. "

Keigo's expression changed immedatly at this last sentence. It was now full of anger, but in a controlled manner. He tightened his fist.  
Junki sensed his agression and shook his hand, to gesture a "no, being angry is useless."

"That's why... I felt down. I was so frustrated with myself that I couldn't be strong, I was scared of Ren, and that feeling made me even more frustrated. Like... "  
Junki's voice began to shake and he furrowed his brows in upset.

"Like I couldn't protect anyone, not even myself, and I couldn't be honest and take the blame. I just couldn't. ", he said as he broke down in tears. The first time he had really cried in front of Keigo.  
Said quietly stood up and sat down next to Junki, holding his hand and stroking his back to comfort him. Junki freed his one hand from Keigo's grip and covered his face with both of his hands. He bowed down and burried it in his own lap, again ashamed of showing tears.  
"I'm sorry ", he whispered between the sobs, "I'm sorry.. "

Keigo sighed and stopped stroking Junki's back, just resting his arm on it. Then he drew close to him so that he could whisper into his ear.

"Junki, you don't have to be sorry for being like this. "

Junki stopped for a moment and then sat up, Keigo did the same simultaneously.  
He looked at Keigo, with still teary eyes and a reddened face.

"I can't help but, Keigo. I can't help but feel like this."

Said softly smiled. "Don't worry, I know it takes time to engrave this into your mind. But you have to start. "

He put his arms on Junki's shoulders, making them face each other.

"It's okay to be weak. It's okay to be weak, Junki. It's okay. "

Junki nodded and while another tear flew down his cheeks, he smiled brightly.  
Honestly.

.  
.  
.

Junki was waiting at the gate, a bit nervous. Takumi should come out soon, and then he'd have to tell Takumi the truth. And apologise. But he thought of Keigo, of his brother, and reaffirmed himself. You got this, Junki. You got this.

There Takumi came out, accompanied by Ren as always. Junki carefully approached them. "Uuhm Takumi, could you come with me for a second? I need to tell you something. "  
Takumi looked a bit surprised, but replied with a "Yeah sure " and was about to follow Junki but Ren stopped him by grabbing his wrist. He gave Junki a quick angry glare, but then shifted to look at Takumi with a "don't trust him he'll hurt you " expression. But Takumi freed himself from Ren and smiled at him, and quickly said "You worry too much Ren. I'll be fine, you can go home already! " as he followed Junki to a quieter place. They stopped next to the garden shed, it was at the end of the backyard so it was often lonely there. But it was a good place to talk stuff out.

"So what's up, Junki? ", Takumi started the conversation. 

Junki gulped. He took a deep breath, and began talking.

"I wanted to apologise for what I said about you. I know it's been months ever since, but I honestly feel very regretful. I was just very hurt in that situation and it caused me to act in a way I didn't want to. Please forgive me for that. I am deeply sorry. ", he explained and bowed down.

Takumi was a bit overwhelmed by the sudden apology, especially since time has passed and he had already moved on, but he chuckled and patted Junki's shoulder. "I accept your apology. Though I have already moved on. "

"Really...? Oh, I guess I didn't. ", Junki said and scratched his head.

"No problem! People each take their time. "

Junki smiled. Takumi was really such a nice person. But he had bad people around himself, people that he didn't deserve. And he probably doesn't even realise it.

"Takumi? There's another thing... That you should know. "  
Junki looked Takumi directly into the eyes.  
"Something about Ren. "

Takumi tilted his head. "What? "  
He could sense Junki's nervousity and wondered what it may be that Junki wanted to tell him about Ren.

"A few days after.... the incident with you... Ren came back at me when I had cleaning duty after school, he splashed water into my face and punched me, threatening me to never talk to you again. He also told me that he'll beat me up again if I tell this to anyone, so please keep this to yourself. "

What, Takumi thought. What??  
Ren... did this? He... harmed someone... because of me? Why because of me? There wasn't... No, Ren would never do this.. 

But he did.

Takumi's head was hurting. Junki looked sideways, feeling sorry for the other one. But it had to be said. The delusional world Takumi was living in was highkey unhealthy, and he had to be confronted with reality to get out of there.  
"Junki.. could you please leave me alone? I need time to progress this... "  
Junki nodded and quickly left.  
Takumi dropped himself onto the ground.  
So many mixed feelings were inside him. He recited Junki's words in his head.

"He punched me, threathened me to never speak to you again. "  
"He said that he'll hurt me more if I tell this to anyone. "

It reminds Takumi of his past. So much. His formers bullies used to do the same to him. It was so painful, he was suffering under them every day but he knew that he'd suffer even more if he told anyone. He eventually was able to tell someone, and he felt so glad when could finally change schools. But now, everything's coming back again. He was dating one of these terrible people. He, who had suffered under them so much. What was his deepest scar and fear had always been right next to him.

It couldn't get into his head that Ren did that. He hoped that it wasn't reality, but judging from Junki's behaviour it was. It was cruel.  
He sighed and clutched his head with his hands. "Why me... why is it always me... ", he whispered, already feeling the tears welling up in his eyes. He shut them and shook his head. "No... no... no... "  
He didn't want to believe that Ren, who always protected him, who always cared for him, who always helped him, was a bad person.

But hadn't he felt that?

Actually, hadn't he already known it? He remembered his nightmare. He remembered what Shosei told him. What everyone told him. "You're spending so much time with Ren, you do nothing else, it isn't good for you. "  
Takumi burried his head in his knees. It's so wicked. He was lost between what he wanted to believe and what was reality was, it was tearing him apart. What should he do? What was the right choice? What was the least painful choice?

In that moment, when he was full of doubts, his phone buzzed. He took it put of his pocket and saw that he had missed a few calls. 1 from Ren, 2 from Shosei. Apperantly he didn't notice the buzzing because he had been so deep into his thoughts. Ren had also just sent him a message, it had been the cause of this buzzing.

Ren <3, 14:32 pm  
\- Are u okay??? You didnt respond to my call, im worried....

Takumi was about to type a reply, but then he saw another call popping up. From Shosei.  
At the same time he could also see that Ren was typing something again.  
Takumi debated between the two. Should he answer Ren, who was deeply worried, but who he had also just been told that he was a bully? Or should he pick up Shosei's call, who was probably equally worried? His eyes swayed between the two.

But ultimately he chose Shosei.

"Hey ", he said with his shaky voice. 

"Hey Takumi, where are you? I didn't meet you in front of the gate, I'm worried.. "

They had promised to meet at the exit gate after school but Junki had catched Takumi before that.

"I'm in the school backyard... next to the garden shed.. please just... come here if you can. "

"I need you right now. "

Shosei didn't reply, he immedatly ended the call. But Takumi didn't mind, he knew that Shosei was coming now. So he just leaned back, closing his eyes and waiting for his friend.

.

Shosei ran as fast as he could. The backyard was huge, and the garden shed was at the very end. He made his way through the nature and when he spotted the shed, he could already see Takumi's bright pink hair. He was sitting on the ground, leaning against the shed's wall.  
Shosei stopped in front of him and had to take a short break because he was out of breath, and Takumi looked up to him, but then Shosei kneeled down in front of him. "Hey. "

"Hey... ", Takumi answered with a small voice.

Shosei sighed, he sensed how sad Takumi was. "What happened? "

Takumi looked down. "Junki told me that Ren beat him up because of me. "

"Oh that's... " Shosei stopped himself from finishing the sentence, instead he positioned himself next to Takumi so that he could stroke his shoulder, attempting to comfort his friend who was still facing down. Said lifted his head up a bit at the touch.

"You know... I've been through all of that already.. I know how Junki must feel.. For him it has only been once but I have gone through years of bullying... it took a huge toll on me, I'm so afraid that people might reject me, that's the scar I live with.. And- "  
He was cut off by his own tears that started to pour out. He bit his lip to surpress it, but it didn't help.  
"And then I find out that such a person has always been right next to me.. Someone who has always protected me.. " He covered his forehead with one hand.

"It's like my whole world was shattered "

Shosei couldn't do anything besides stroking his friend's back who was burrying his face in his knees again. He cried so hard, and Shosei could feel all the pain he was letting out, but he decided that it was best to just listen.  
And he did, he listened to all of Takumi's sorrow, all of his confusion and grief, just while sitting next to him, stroking his back and listening quietly.  
He comforted him by just being there.

.  
.  
.

"Ruki? "

"Yes? "

Ruki looked over to Shosei. They were relaxing on the school building's rooftop, leaning onto the guardrails. 

"We need to help Takumi. He's in serious trouble. Ren does no good to him. "

"And what do you plan to do? "

"Well, ", Shosei said, "they best way would be for them to break up. But I don't know if Takumi has the courage to do that. "

"Huh, why wouldn't he? Because Ren is so scary? ", Ruki asked and tilted his head.

"That, and I think that he's mostly afraid that he'll be alone again. "

"But he has a lot of friends, hasn't he? "

"That's the thing. " Shosei looked up into the sky. "He easily feels very alone because he was an outsider at his old school. Also, Ren has engraved the idea into his mind that he's the only person he needs and no one else. "

"Hm. "  
Ruki didn't reply anything else for a while and also stared into the beautifully blue sky. Then he had an idea.

"Ha ", he blurted out. "I have a plan. "

"What~? Tell me. ", Shosei said and made a begging face.

"No, not yet. ", Ruki said and turned away; because he knew that he would give in at the sight of Shosei's begging face.

"Please! ", Shosei exclaimed and shook Ruki's arm while putting on his best puppy eyes.  
Ruki couldn't resist and turned around.  
He then sighed, he couldn't resist and came closer to whisper his idea into Shosei's ear.

"That's a really good idea, I hope we can get everyone to join us though. "

"I'll take care of that. ", Ruki said and winked.

"Stop doing that. You're teasing me. "

"Oho? And what do you want to do now? "

Shosei blushed a little. "Not here. People are around. "

Ruki sighed. "Yeah okay. Come now, break is ending soon. ", he said as he turned to walk towards the staircase.

"Are you grumpy now? "

"No, I'm not. ", Ruki said with the grumpiest tone he could bring out.

Shosei just laughed and it made Ruki smile, he didn't show it to Shosei to keep up his grumpy attitude but Shosei knew it nevertheless. He thought about Ruki's plan, their plan, and just prayed that it'll succeed. They had to get Takumi out of there, no matter what.

.  
.  
.

"Jo Keigo. "

"Hi, what's up? ", said answered through the phone.

"I have thought of a plan to help Takumi, but I need you for that. ", Ruki explained.

"Oh really? "

"Yes. It's a bit complicated so it would be better if we could meet. "

"Uff. I don't have time the next days, only on Wednesday. "

"That's fine. But try to spread this to others in the meantime. "

"Others? "

"I don't know ", Ruki said and shrugged, "people that know Takumi. Like Junki... or Mame and that Syoya dud for example. "

"Ok, understood. "

"Thanks, Keigo. It's nice knowing that I can always rely on you. "

"Yes, no problem, we're friends after all! ", Keigo answered enthusiastically. "See you soon. "

"Yeah, see you soon. ", Ruki replied anf ended the call.  
He smiled to himself, knowing everything was coming along well thus far. He hoped that it'll continue like that, because Takumi deserved this and nothing less.  
He deserved to be saved.

.  
.  
.

"Is this the right house? ", Mame asked as he adjusted his clothes once more.  
"Yes, it should be. ", Sukai replied.  
"The map says yes. ", Syoya affirmed him while looked onto his phone.  
"Ok then. "  
They enetered the big house. It was as noble on the inside as it looked on the outside. There were already house slippers prepared for them so they quickly changed. During that process they heard someone coming closer and were greeted by a familiar voice.  
"Hey, thanks for coming! Make yourselves a home here. "

"Thanks for inviting us too ", Mame answered. "Your house is huge. And everything looks really expensive. "

"You better don't touch anything then. ", Sukai commented from the back.

"I'm not that clumsy! ", Mame retorted. "I know how to handle myself. "

"Hahaha ", Keigo laughed, very amused. "Come, you can follow to where the others are.

The trio followed the tall man to the living room, through a hallway filled with antique objects and dusty paintings. "My parents like collecting stuff. ", Keigo explained.

When they arrived ginally, they spotted the rest of the guests sitting on a big light brown couch in front of a fireplace. Junki immedatly turned to them and waved cheerfully. "Welcome! Good to see you! "  
Sho also turned around and smiled casually. The third in the round, Shion, also glanced at them but put on a poker face. Ruki also joined soon after; he had been visiting the bathroom when the other three arrived.  
They all already knew each other, since all of them were in the same year, so the greeting was casual. Only Shion didn't engage, he said stuff like "Welcome ", but it was clear that he just was really nervous.

"So ", Mame said as he sat down on the gtound because the chouch was full already, "now only Shosei and Takumi are missing, right? "  
The others nodded.  
"They should be on their way right now. ", Ruki added. "Shosei just texted me that they got onto the bus, so it's about half an hour until they will arrive here. "

"Okay, so that means we still have a little time left. ", Keigo concluded. "We should go through the plan one more time. "  
He looked at everyone. "Has everyone their parts ready? "  
They nodded.  
"And does everyone know what to do when? "  
They nodded again.  
"Good. Then we can just wait now. "

.

The night was dark. It was late evening, and Takumi had no plan why Shosei wanted to go with him to a party at Keigo's house. Takumi didn't really like partys, and Shosei not much more as far as he knew. So there had to be a plan. But what?

"This is our stop. ", Shosei suddendly interrupted Takumi's thoughts. They got up and exited the bus. Now they stood in front of a giant house, no, it was more like a mansion. "Come on. Everyone's waiting for you. ", Shosei said and made his way towards the entrance. Everyone? Waiting... for me? Much to think about.  
But he still followed Shosei into Keigo's house, because he trusted Shosei. It was quiet in the house, making Takumi wonder if someone was actually there or if it was just a silly prank. Their further way through the house made it seem more like a prank, they passed through a hallway full with ancient things that looked like they haven't been touched for years.  
Eventually they arrived in a rather big room, with a big couch, a burning fireplace and a table with a bunch of chairs.  
No one was around, and when Takumi wanted to ask Shosei why he had brought him into an empty house he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Takumi turned around and shrieked in shock, only to realise that it had been just Keigo and not some weird ghost. The blonde boy chuckled amusedly. "Welcome, we've been awaiting you. ", and a bunch of other people came out of their hiding places.  
There was Mame, Ruki, Sukai, Syoya, Sho, Junki... even Shion.  
Takimi couldn't believe his eyes. "What...? Why...? "

"We are throwing a party for you! ", Shosei explained cheerfully from the back. "A Takumi-you-are-not-alone-party! "

Said's eyes widened. A lot. As wide as they could. "For me...? Why... Oh god, thank you. ", he said and shyly covered his mouth with his hands.

"Hahaha ", Mame laughed cutely, "now come on, the food's waiting. ", he said and gestured towards the big table that was currently be filled with food.  
When Takumi stepped closer, he felt like he was in heaven. Dozens of hamburgers with all kinds of ingredients. His absolute favorite food. He gasped, and looked at everyone who smiled at him, signaling him to go ahead and eat until he was full.  
"Did you all made this by yourselves? "

Junki nodded proudly.

"...wow. I never thought people would do such stuff for me. ", Takumi said and stared down at the hamburgers. Then he suddenly felt an arm around his shoulder. It ws Shosei.  
"You deserve nothing more. ", he told him and smiled. " Now go and eat before it gets cold. ", Sho threw in. Takumi nodded and sat down while grabbing the next burger available, and took a huge bite. Delicious. Heaven on earth. And he wasn't even alone up there. The others were gushing about the food, too. It made Takumi smile widely. He wasn't alone, he wasn't alone.

.

"Uff I'm full- ", Takumi said as he leaned back and stretched. He looked around.  
"Thanks, everyone. "

"No problem! ", Junki replied. He stood up and started collecting the dirty dishes; the others quickly joined him, except Takumi and Shosei.

"It's fun with so many people around, isn't it?"

Takumi turned towards Shosei.

"It is. I would have never expected for so many people to consider themselves as my friends. "

Shosei chuckled lightly. "I know, I was also not used to this because I grew up in a different world. But Ruki took me here. "

And Ren took me here too, Takumi thought. But in a different way. Shosei was here because he voltunarily came with Ruki, but I am here because I am fleeing from Ren. Because he's no good for me. But can I even get out of this? Isn't it already too late-

Sho cleared his throat. "Attention, everyone. Sit down. "

The others joined them at the table, and when everyone had sat down, surprisingly it was Syoya who first began to speak.

"So we won't ignore the big fat elephant in this room and just get straight to the point. "  
He looked Takumi, who was sitting opposite to Syoya, deeply into the eyes.

"Takumi, you need to break up with Ren. "

Syoya had said it. Takumi had known that it'll come to this point, but hearing it in real life was different. It faced him with everything that he refused to accept, that he denied, that he ran away from, but that he had known for the longest time.  
It was cruel.  
But it was the truth.

Takumi looked down, trying to put his feelings into words. Shosei patted his back.  
"I know, it's not easy for you. "  
He stopped and just rested his hand on his friend's back.  
"But know that you are never, never alone. We are all here for you, and we will support you no matter what. "

"I aggree. ", Ruki said.

"Me too! ", Keigo added.

"Exactly!!! ", Junki said nodding heavily.

"We'll get you out of there! ", Mame said and gave Takumi a thumbs up.

"And we're not just saying that, we mean it. ", Sho exclaimed.

"Yes! We've informed ourselves properly. " came from Syoya.

Sukai nodded, "And we know what we're doing. "

He glanced at Shion who seemed a bit reluctant to do his part and tapped onto his shoulder. The younger stood up and cleared his throat.

"In conclusion, no matter what happens, we got your back and we'll support you. What's the most important for you is to be.. "  
He paused to take a breath.

"honest. "

Shion couldn't help but break into a small smile. "Voice what you think, because that's what you feel, never doubt that. Just be honest with yourself and Ren, because that's what's needed now. "

Shion looked down, a bit embarrassed but also glad, because he could hear the other guys clapping. They agreed with him and said things like that he summed it up perfectly, that no one could have said it better etc.  
He could hear Takumi thanking him, saying that he'll take it to heart and do his best. It made Shion feel so happy because in reality, he directed the words more at himself, he first thought that it had been very selfish but now he realised that he helped someonevwith these 'selfish ' words. He had always thought that his struggles were so different from everyobe else, but in reality, they weren't.  
He was just like them.

"Alright then. ", Takumi said suddenly.  
He paused a bit and looked around, smiling at all of his friends.  
"I'm really so thankful for today. You have done so much for me. I really can't thank you all enough. "

"For once in my life, I'll gather all of my courage and stand up for myself. I am able to do that now because I know that no matter how deep I'll fall, there are people who will catch and safe me. ", he concluded with a bright smile.

And then the others started applauding him, they came over and hugged Takumi, patting his back and head and telling him motivational words.  
And in that very moment, Takumi finally realised that he truly wasn't alone anymore.

.  
.  
.

Takumi looks at his clock. 14:59 pm. One minute until Ren will arrive. He goes through his prepared text again, under the watch of Ruki and Keigo he had pre-written a text explaining the reason behind his decision. He really tried to keep it as sensitive and nice as possible, because he didn't want to hurt Ren. He just hoped that he'll be understood.

"Takumi! "

Said looked up from staring into his coffee and saw Ren running towards him, panting but looking happy. Takumi looked to his watch. 15.02 pm.  
"I was late so I had to run, I'm sorry. ", Ren explained as he sat down. "No problem ", Takumi said and smiled lightly as he mentally prepared himself.  
Ren took his jacket off and grabbed the menu, thinking about what to order. He smiled during the process in his usual cute way, and Takumi still thought that it was cute but there were things that were heavier than that. Heavy enough to completly exhaust Takumi. Which wasn't a good thing. It had to be stopped.  
While Takumi was having these thoughts, Ren, completly unaware of them, happily ordered a drink and then smiled at Takumi cheerfully. "How was your week, love? ", he kicked of the conversation.

Takumi took a deep breath, remided himself of everything he had been told, of that he wasn't alone and that he'll get out of this, and spoke out the cruel words of truth.

"Ren, we need to break up. "

Takumi studied Ren's face closely, because besides his smile fading, he didn't have much facial expression. He seemed to have a lot of feelings in his mind. Too many to express as just one. He clenched his fist and it looked a bit like he was shaking. He looked down so that his face was covered by his bangs. Takumi couldn't see much more of his expression, but he could see a tear dropping down. And when Ren looked up again, he was indeed crying and clenching his teeth.

"Why are you doing this to me? " was the question that came out of Ren's mouth.

Takumi had to search for the proper words so he looked to the side, but he just triggered Ren more with that.

"You should understand how I feel! You can't do this to me! "

"Ren, I- ", Takumi attempted to explain himself but the furious Ren cut him off.

"I trusted you! With everything! With everything that happened to me, with everything that I carry around, I thought that you would understand.- ", he got faster with every word, "but apparently you don't. I thought that you could save me, but you don't want to. " He shook his head. "I am... I have no words left. "

Takumi sighed. He should have expected this.  
"Ren, the thing is, it's not that I don't want the best for you, but it's not my job to save you. You have to save yourself. "

"Then why are you breaking up with me if you want the best for me?? " Ren asked back with an enraged tone in his voice.

Takumi looked him straight into the eyes.  
"Because I also want the best for myself."

Ren had a very specific expression, he looked hopeless, infuriated and just sad at the same time. Takumi didn't want to hurt him like this. But it was the only way. 

"In the end, all people are egoists, I guess. ", Ren said bitterly.

Takumi looked at Ren, as the silver-haired boy furrowed his brows in anger, Takumi knew that he was acyibg like this because he knew no other way to express his pain. He was almost pitying him, but he couldn't let that to be shown. 

"There's a clear line between egoism and knowing what's best for yourself and the other person. "

In that moment the waiter came with Ren's drink and Takumi felt sorry for him because he could predict what was going to happen.  
And it happened exactly like that.  
As the waiter attempted to place the cup on the table, Ren knock it off the plate so that it feel on the ground with a loud shatter.  
"Why should is this supposed to be the best for ME when you are BREAKING my heart right now?? ", Ren screamed.

It was quiet in the café.  
At this point other people were staring at them already. But Ren didn't care at all, he was shaking, and he looked so furious, he didn't look like himself anymore. The waiter that had brought the now broken quickly quickly stepped away from the scene, understandably.

Takumi tried to remain calm. He looked to the counter where he meet the eyes of his emergency plan. Ruki and Keigo had repeatedly adviced him to bring someone along for the worst case, because Ren was unpredictable, and he had already hurt Junki. Takumi himself had been confident that Ren wouldn't do anything to him because it was Takumi, but Ruki insisted, and Takumi trusted his experience. He absolutly didn't expect out of all people Junki to volunteer for this, but he was reliable, Takumi guessed. He felt a bit safer, knowing that he had support. 

But he had to do his best too, for both his own and Ren's sake. So he focused on the face of the silver-haired older. He was breathing heavily, and angry tears were streaming down his face while he was visibly gritting his teeth.

"Look, you are losing yourself already. ", Takumi said the words that came into his mind, "I am not good for you. "  
He just wanted it to be over already.

Surprisingly, Ren seemed to relax. He was breathing less heavier at least.  
Takumi felt a bit encouraged by that  
"And ultimately, you're not good for me."

Takumi expected Ren to snap at him again, but the other one remained silent.  
He took the chance to explain himself a bit more, hoping that Ren would finally understand his reasoning.

"We began caring for each other out of love, and of course that included helping each other. But... " Takumi hesitated. "At some point the negativity that you always unloaded unto me became too much. It drained me mentally completly out. "

Ren was still silent. Takumi glanced over to the counter again, meeting the eyes of a slightly confused-looking Junki. Takumi reassured him with his eyes that there was no reason to step in right now, and Junki nodded in understand.  
When Takumi then turned back to Ren, he heard something. A very small, faint sound that stood out in the quietness of the café. If was.... sobbing.  
Ren was sobbing tiny, soft tears.

"I'm sorry ", he said as he wiped his tears away with one hand. "I didn't want to do this to you. "  
He looked at Takumi, he looked dreadful, sad and just exhausted. That was the real Ren, Takumi thought. At his very core Ren was just like a scared, lost child that had been hurt way too early in his life.

"I guess I loved you too much, Kawanishi Takumi. "

Takumi was conflicted again. One side told him that Ren was just a hurt little sleep that had lost its way just for once, while the other side reminded him of what Ren CONSCIOUSLY did to others, that he hurt, threatened and humiliated them. What a dilemma.

But Takumi chose to give Ren a small smile. "You know, I've loved you too much as well. I am only able to make this decision because I was helped by my friends. "  
He leaned forward and put both of his hands on Ren's shoulders.  
"I believe that you can get over this, too. For now it's only you who can safe yourself. And... I wish that you do that. "  
Takumi sat back again and smiled now casually at a baffled Ren.

"Please safe yourself before you love someone again. "

Ren was unable to say anything. He needed to progress everything that Takumi had just said, because he wanted to do it properly for once and not break out in anger again. During his rage he had seen everyone's eyes, Takumi's eyes, and they had looked terrified. As he was a monster.  
But he didn't want to be one. So he'll try to contain himself.

"So it's over now..? ", Ren managed to get out as Takumi stood up. 

"Yes. ", the pink-haired boy said with a nod.  
"It's not like we should never see each other again, but we should take some time away from each other before we can become friends again. ", he concluded.

Ren just confirmed it with a nod as he stood up to be on one level with Takumi. He had many feelings within himself right now.

"Oh ", Takumi suddenly interrupted his thoughts.  
"I have one last thing for you. "  
The younger one crammed in his pocket while Ren just tilted his head, he had no idea of what to expect now.  
Finally, Takumi took out a small, deep blue box that he presented Ren.

"Here, for you. "

Ren took the box, a bit perplex, but he still opened it. Within laid a small earring that was shaped like a flower. It had five bright blue petals that were surrounded by a golden border.

"It's supposed to be a Forget-me-not. You always wear the same earrings, and I personally like the meaning of this flower. ", Takumi explained his sudden gift.

"But is its meaning appropriate right now? To not forget? Isn't that like not moving on? "

"That's the most common interpretation, yes. But... I've made one up myself. "

Tskumi looked up into the blue sky and recited.  
"Each of the petals reminds you of something you must not forget.  
The first one reminds you to not forget to be patient with yourself.  
The second petals reminds you to not forget your priorities.  
The third reminds you to be happy, the fourth one to never forget who you are and to be yourself and the fifth one... "  
He looked at Ren again, giving him a meaningful smile.

"You must never forget that you are loved. "

Ren was speechless. After Takumi had thrown do much at him he had expected Takumi to leave without big words but this.. He was still a kind soul. Way too precious for this world.

"That's where it ends. ", Ren said after a while.

"Yeah... kind of sad. Breakups are always sad. "

Ren took a deep breath. "It'll be hard for me to accept, but I'll move on from this. I understand what you had to go through because of me, and I am terribly sorry for my actions. "

Takumi smiled. "I'm glad that you understand now. Now we'll part here, and start a new chapter in our lives. I'll go on and live as I do. While you should focus on yourself until you can... "  
He hesitated.

"Until you can forget me. "

Ren chuckled. "Yeah, I'll try to.. But it'll probably be hard when I have this earring as a constant reminder. It's a Forget-me-not after all. "

"Ren, that flower shall not remind you of me, but of yourself. Of the thing that's the most important in your life. "

Ren scratched the back of his head. "I guess I am still an idiot. "

"But you can try to change. "

"That'll take some time. "

"I look forward to seeing a changed Ren in the future. "

Ren smiled. He didn't know if he can actually change, if he'll ever be able to get ovrr this, but he'll try. Try was the keyword here. For his own sake. That's what the Forget-me-not stood for. It wasn't Forget 'me ' not for nothing.

Takumi offered Ren his hand for a last goodbye. Ren hesitated a bit, but he took it, and as they smiled at each other, they interlocked hands just for a moment and while slowly turning away to each of their ways, Ren and Takumi let go of each other, finishing their story together which marked a new beginning for both.

-

Epilouge

"Look, there's a Sakura petal on your nose! "

"Is there really- ouch! Don't just touch my nose. "

"But there was a petal. I only wanted to remove it so you don't look stupid. "

"I look stupid anyways walking with my boyfriend under the supposedly romantic Sakura trees but he's removing petals from my nose instead. "

"Making you look stupid is my job. "

Junki sighed. He had just complained about Keigo making a fool out of him, but he actually enjoyed it. Just these little things made his days a lot better.  
For Keigo as well, Junki was always acting pussed about it but he knew that the older one secretly enjoyed Keigo's clownery. And he fidn't have a problem with his boyfriend acting like that, because it kept their dynamic fresh and fun.

Takumi watched the two from afar. He clutched his graduation scroll and thought of the past year. Many things had happened, he had lost a lot but hsd gained even more. That's the way life goes, he thought. Without pain there is no beauty. Ruki always said that.

Aprospros, said was walking behind him, hands interlocked with a cheerful Shosei that constantly took photos of the Sakura trees. Understandably, because they looked really beautiful this year.  
Maybe nature given them its best for their highschool graduation. The trees had dyed grey Tokyo in a bright pink.  
It reminded Takumi of his pink hair that he used to have, now he had dyed it in bright blue in contrast to his surroundings.  
Commemorating a certain flower and a certain boy.

He hadn't seen Ren in forever, well, he had seen him since they had went to the same class, but they didn't really talk. It had been better that way.  
In the end, Takumi thought, they had both learned a lot through their dilemma of a relationship. They both had learned about what to value, about what to not forget.  
And as Takumi steps out into his new life as an adult today, he looks around and sees his friends being with him - the idiots clowning each other aka Junki and Keigo, the sweet cheerful Shosei enjoying the moment with the relaxed Ruki at his side, Mame, Sukai and Syoya who joked with each other while Mame admired Syoya's excellent grades, short after them came Shion who wasn't walking directly with them but he was still involved, lauhhing at the jokes and giving a comment here and there, and at the very bavk there walked Sho, watcheing over everyone like a big brother.  
Takumi closed his eyes and felt the soft breeze, heard the laughter and felt the warm temperature of spring, of his new life beginning.

No matter what will happen from now on, he'll go forward.  
No matterwhat will happen from now on, he'll try to be happy.  
No matter what will happen from now on, he'll his life to the best of his ability.

No matter what will happen from now on, he wasn't alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment or reach me on Twitter @/shoseilovemail

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment or reach me onTwitter @shoseilovemail


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